First Tattoo and First Attempt at Shoplifting
A strange set up - a room with a fish tank but no human receptionist. When I arrived the first time, there was just me, so after looking around and quietly noticing that each chair was empty, I sat down in one of them. The fish looked at me like this - 0000 000 0 for a couple of minutes, and then a radiographer came in and explained why I couldn't have my planning appointment that day on account of my scar not being properly healed - (had to have another op). 'I'm afraid you've had a wasted journey,' she smiled, 'how long did it take you to get here?... Um, that is quite a while. Definitely a wasted journey.' But today there were quite a few seats taken, and a couple of patients were actually still awake in them. Apparently you just sit there and wait till someone comes in and asks you if your name is Michael Smith and you say no, and they say, 'Anyone?' And the guy next to you just remembers that's his name and then you wait again till someone comes back in and asks the next guy, 'Deborah Hambrook?' And he says, 'No, Max Sumitorover.' And just before they walk out, you say, 'Oh, that's me...' They scrutinize your face to see if you are telling the truth, then frown, 'Max?' And you tell them who you are.
Any road up, today, I was taken from the waiting room by a man with the voice, manner and charisma of Alistair Appleton - had to keep checking, but each time I looked again, it still wasn't him. I like Alistair, so that improved my mood somewhat. He talked me through what I've already been talked through, but I listened again, partly because he sounded so much like Alistair, and partly in case I'd missed something the first 60 million times around. But I hadn't. Lung damage, cardiovascular disease, skin reactions / damage, and my most dreaded lymphoma, to name but a few. So when he thought I looked scared enough, Alistair led me back to the waiting area where I was soon called for my scan.
I've never had a tattoo before and weirdly, the trainee nurse who did mine had never done one before, either. Now neither of us can make that claim again. The purpose of the small ink dots is so they can line you up correctly for radiotherapy. So I've had my CT scan and won't know the results until I turn up for my first of fifteen radiotherapy sessions starting 11th April - five days a week for three weeks.
I came away from the hospital feeling quite depressed, for some reason. But it was such a lovely sunny day I thought I'd walk my dog to Tesco (hide her behind the bags of compost) to pick up something nice for a salad. Once out of the shop I realized my backpack was too heavy for me to lift onto my back, so leaving my shopping with the dog, I ran back inside for a carrier to unload some of the weight from my back pack. I'd taken a few of the heavier items out to put into the carrier when the security guard came flying out of the shop. 'Excuse me, I'm really sorry,' he shouted, 'but those bags are 5p now. You took it without paying.' To which I promptly burst into tears and offered him 5p, which he wouldn't take into the shop for me because he's not allowed to take money. So I asked if he could watch my shopping and the dog, and he said he would, and then I dashed (like a nutter) into the shop, stood looking this way and that with my 5p piece held aloft pincered between thumb and forefinger, but there was no till without a huge queue. I didn't know what to do, so in the end I rushed up to this young guy who I knew would recognize me and said I was sorry, but I'd taken a carrier without paying, could he put 5p in his till, and I don't know if he was supposed to, but he said he would.
The security guard was as good as his word - stood by shopping and dog, and let me off my first attempt at shoplifting with a slapped wrist. To be honest, today has been the pits, and the failed shoplifting incident put the cherry on a badly iced cake.