The Queen of Canada Takes Alfred Muggins’ Mind Away From Trumpenstein’s Coup by Alfred Muggins

9/4/25
Alfred Muggins watched the gracious and uplifting dramatization of the life or reign of Young Queen Victoria. It was so uplifting as the Queen and her conscientious consort Prince Albert sought to come to terms with their own jealousies and enable their hardworking servants and companions to progress sensitively through life, with the aid of a couple of very genteel and well meaning Prime Ministers of both the Whig (Lord Melbourne) and Tory (Robert Peel, the erstwhile inventer of the British Police Force, and even the old Duke of Wellington, victor of the stalwart Battle of Waterloo! (N.B. Brussels Sprouts!!) persuasions. Even the undeveloped and developing years of the Industrial Revolution seemed so much more secure and safe, somehow, than the criminal prospects of the tariff and stock collapsing horrors of the present, not to avoid mention of the parts of World War 3 already started and brewing, and about to get much worse most likely. Alfred swiftly reviewed whether it might be worth saving himself from the economic and political and military collapse he could very much see developing before the eyes of the whole world right now, by slipping gently into Queen Victoria’s early hey day and court. Perhaps he could receive her protection, with his Lady Muggins for company? Perhaps they could be given refugee status from Trumpenstein’s bleak modern world new order (or should he say chaos!?)  But there was much still to be fought for in the modern world before the lights actually went out. Even lowly keyboard warriors would be needed to try to help the poor Americans turn this evil around, and he could not in all honour desert this sinking ship of western civilization just yet.

    After an episode or two it was time to switch back to the current news, which Alfred could hardly ignore in these days of danger to every principle he had been brought up and educated upon, in which accepted reality was being turned upon its head by a neo fascist (billionaire backed) type group which had somehow taken over the American Presidency and State, and was making extortionate and punishing tariff demands upon every other State upon earth, except for Trump’s old chum Vladimir (bloodsucker!) Putin, (from KGB days??), and his not so democratic state of Russia!

    Although he had already missed the headlines Alfred soon realized that there had been yet more astounding news from that gross producer of headlines himself, Donald Trumpenstein. Yet again, the man who believed himself to be a god, had changed his tune once again. He had apparently, magnanimously decided to let all the nations he had just slapped with high tariffs off, for only ninety days (three months!), not completely off, but down to 10%, from 20 or 25%. Many nations (including not so Great Britain) had already apparently come crawling to him( to make agreements, presumably allow certain donor American companies and conglomerates to avoid full or proper taxation in the tax realms of these rival nations. Yet again he wondered did Trumpenstein really think this was really a game? If so he surely did have a very low mental age, Alfred thought. The man (or god? Or devil?) was playing with people’s pension funds, social security entitlements, and surely even his business followers’ company stock values, and future profitabilities. It became evident as Alfred tried to make sense of Trump’s latest predictable unpredictable tariff policy turnaround, that the turnaround might well have occurred so soon due to a new reluctance by the government bond seller/lenders to lend to Trumpenstein’s very unreliable/untrustworthy administration at traditional rates. The unnecessarily engineered turmoil had bashed and battered more than mere business confidence in the last few days and weeks, but also the confidence of lenders. So perhaps Trumpenstein and the administration of the United States which he had taken over, were now in real trouble from the bondmarket lenders. Well, Alfred felt naturally, Trumpenstein and his sidekicks obviously deserved it, but did the poor United States of America, who had merely voted  (suspiciously?) for the guy, and been the victim (probably) of his electoral corruption and abuse, really deserve this, especially when everything had been relatively hunky dory during the previous administration?

    Alfred, who was with his client felt obliged to switch back after a time to her erstwhile soap favourite programme Coronation Street, but in the turmoil of his educated brain Alfred was unable to turn off the turmoil of the real news in his head. A mere soap opera could not compare even slightly with the gravity of real events in the world and America. He had felt it quite a lot in recent times, particularly since the hot air balloon of Trumpenstein's inauguration, but also with prior horrific events of the October 7th 2023 Hamas attack, and the consequent decimation of the civilian population of Gaza by erstwhile Golden Boy Israel, and related events, and of course the Oligarch Putin’s Russian invasion of Ukraine since February 2022! It had become progressively more and more difficult to concentrate on any ordinary dramas while the world at large seemed to be descending into madness, bloodshed and mass exploitation. Unfortunately he just could not concentrate on the Coronation Street storyline, and he found himself bored, as well as distracted.

    At the end of Corry(?) his wife had arrived to relieve him, and he jumped at the chance to change channel to something a bit more interesting. He once again found himself drawn back to the news. His new nemesis Trumpenstein was in the Oval Office, once again, vigorously signing more executive orders, this time on the subject of the tariffs, presumably reducing them for 90 days, and talking intermittently with some poor American apparatchik in a suit. Mrs Muggins was now partly talking to him and distracting him, which was probably just as well, as he was beginning to feel an overwhelming urge to find a cricket bat/ baseball bat/ golf club and step through the TV screen into the oval office to whack the imposter President with it. He was coming ever closer to taking his anger and frustration out upon the poor TV itself, but he knew the Pantomime President was on the far side of the ‘pond’ as the Atlantic Ocean was often comfortingly named, and sitting behind recently resurrected strong fences of metal to keep out the enraged citizens and voters who might also have been angered by his lack of care for the people’s real interests.

   Alfred was not sure whether it was good or not that his wife decided there and then that he had been seeing more of Donald Trump than was good for his mental health, and decided, without any consultation, to switch over the programme. Alfred was irritated by her dictatorial act (which mirrored the antics of the bully on the other side of the TV screen), but immediately accepted that it was probably for the best that she safeguard him from his own unwanted obsessions. Trumpenstein was getting under his skin, more tonight than usual, and he was finding it difficult to relax.