Ivan the Infiltrator! (Late IP)

Ivan the Infiltrator! (Late IP)

It was love at first sight for me. I can’t say whether it was the same for him. I didn’t care; I just wanted to be with him. It didn’t matter that I was older. Anyway, age is just a number. I know what you’re thinking…that I’m heading towards disaster. Possibly, but I still don’t care. He was gorgeous and I needed love in my life. Don’t we all? I remember someone once said to me ‘Don’t we all have need to be adored?’ My answer to that is yes but not everyone gets to be in that happy position. Well, he was going to be adored and I would…have to…take my chances!

It wasn’t long before he moved in with me and I know what you’re thinking now too. You fool. You absolute fool. Why did you do it? You were free to do just as you pleased. Well, I’ll tell you why I did it. I hate being on my own. I hate this gut-wrenching loneliness and feeling as if there is nothing in this world for me. I think if you have the chance of anything that makes you happy you have to seize it before it slips from your grasp. So fool that I am that is what I did. And I don’t regret it. Perhaps I should, perhaps I would but, for now, I just didn’t care.

I must admit sometimes when I’m tired I get fed up with clearing up after him and he doesn’t always listen to me or do what I ask but for the most part we are happy just to spend time in each other’s company or go for a quiet walk along the beach .

Then one day he took himself off and didn’t come back for two days I was frantic with worry, I reported him missing, I searched for him, I lay awake at night thinking about him but then after two days he turned up happy as Larry. I had words with him but nothing seemed to penetrate. He just seemed so happy to be back. I too was happy so I let it go. I didn’t want to lose him and I thought if I kept going on at him he might leave again. That was the first of many such occasions when he just took off. No reason, as far as I could see he just went. After the first few times I stopped worrying and I stopped searching.

However, one awful day, forever etched in my memory, he just didn’t come back at all. I kept thinking I would see him again happy to be back with me like all the other times but no, not this time. I was distraught he had gone from my life almost as quickly as he had come into it.

Then one day I was walking along the beach kicking at the damp sand thinking about him and wondering if he was happy. Lost in thought I hadn’t noticed the sky’s changing mood nor noticed the wind’s mournful howling but I was suddenly made aware of an angry sea. No, not angry, furious, and in its fury it boiled over in deadly confrontation with the shore. And I was afraid. I looked around and could see my way back was cut off. Ahead were some cruel looking rocks that reached skywards but I was not sure if I could climb up. By now I was frightened, very frightened. I feared for my life. I knew if I could not negotiate those cruel rocks then I would drown for certain. I clambered over the wet, slimy rocks, slipping and sliding my way as if my life depended on it…which, of course...it did!

I felt as if I was being chased by the sea as it seemed to be gaining on me, getting ever closer and I could feel myself tiring. My legs felt heavy and didn’t seem to want to co-operate with the rest of me. They seemed to be on a mission all their own. My hands were by now torn and bleeding as I grabbed whatever purchase I could to haul myself up. I could feel the sea spray on my face like it was spitting at me derisively and in anticipation that soon I would succumb. I felt myself getting weak, my breath coming in painful gasps and dangerous though I knew it was, I had to stop. I couldn’t go on. I was too exhausted!

I would rest for awhile. Then it occurred to me that perhaps, it would be for the best. Let the angry sea take me. What did I have in my life that needed me to live? Now he too had gone there was nothing, no reason, no need, no love, so why not…no life? It made perfect sense as I sat there waiting for the sea to seize its opportunity.

I closed my eyes, and waited…waited for the sea to devour me and I sat there for some time thinking I was ready for it but still it came as an almighty shock, not what I was expecting at all. Perched precariously on some rocky outcrop I was not prepared for the sudden lolloping great lick of a warm tongue on my face. And the warm, excited breath of a young, exuberant Labrador who risked pushing me into the sea in his enthusiasm to see me again…he was back! Boy was he back! Then I heard a voice,

“Here take my hand. This way” I looked up and there was my ex husband.

Wha…how…I don’t under…this isn’t happening. I must be dreaming.

“Quickly now, the sea is gaining on us.”

I did as he said and he pulled me to him.

“I don’t understand…what are you doing here and how come you’ve got my dog?”

“Explanations must come later, for now, we have enough of a battle just to stay alive!”

Together we slid and slipped over the slimy rocks not speaking just fighting for breath and trying to stay alive though Jasper clambered up, sure-footed, like a mountain goat. The sea boiled over in fury at being denied. It seemed like we were climbing for hours but in reality it was just minutes before we reached the top of the cliff and safety.

We both fell exhausted on to the grassy slope with Jasper giving us a thorough beating with his tail and then washing our faces with his lean, rasher of bacon, tongue, covering us with great lolloping licks in his desire to show how pleased he was to see us.

We lay on the grass unspeaking for several minutes before we found breath enough to break the silence.

“Are you all right?” Tom said

“Yes.”

“You gave me such a fright.”

“Did I, I’m surprised you cared?” I said, the old resentment coming to the surface unbidden.

“Jess, I’ve never stopped caring.”

“Then why did you leave me when I needed you most?”

“I never wanted to, you pushed me away…after the baby…”

“I needed you”

“No, you needed the baby. I felt as useful as a chocolate kettle”

That made me smile, “But I like chocolate.”

“Not then” he smiled back.

“And how come you’ve got my dog?”

"He’s been sharing himself between us for awhile now. Not surprising really since I bred him."

“YOU? How come?”

“I only took Bella with me because you were so lost in grief you kept forgetting to feed her but my neighbour has a very handsome young male Labrador named Ivan whom we now call Ivan the Infiltrator and he took quite a shine to our Bella.”

“Infiltrator? Why?”

“Because he mated Bella through the wire fence would you believe? She had seven puppies and I had heard you were looking for another dog and I knew which one you would go for so I kept him back then when you answered the advert I just made myself scarce.”

“Yes I wanted to get another dog for a long time because I’ve been so lonely without…without…Bella! So, when I saw the advert I thought go for it. My friends all thought I was mad tying myself down with a dog but Jasper and I seemed to hit it off straight away. Then he started to go AWOL and I couldn’t see any reason for it but as he always came back I didn’t worry too much. Not until, that is, this last time because he had never stayed away this long. Nearly two weeks now. So, why was it different this time? Wouldn’t you let him come back?”
“Jess, I brought him back several times and on one occasion I even opened the gate and shut him in your garden but then when I got home there he was waiting for me and yet when I took him for his walk he always pulled me towards your house. It was as if he was doing his best to get us together again.”

“Rubbish! How could he know that we were ever together?”

“Well, call it a sixth sense or whatever but today he pulled me towards the cliff…something he’s never done before, so make of it what you will.”

“I don’t know what to think.”

“Jess, perhaps this is an omen, a sign, whatever. Is there no chance we could ever get back together?”

“No chance!” I heard myself say but my heart was singing to a different tune. We started to walk back down the cliff towards my, our, home. And I was surprised to realise that on that rocky outcrop, the sea that I had thought so cruel had not claimed me, only my old companions, anger and resentment, washed away in a flood of forgiveness like sandcastles taken with the tide!

End