My friend the tax man

My Friend the Tax man

I’ve been talking to my tax man
He is a lovely chap
“I’ve just read your tax return,” he said
“It’s all a load of crap

You’ve put income where your pensions go
And all that sort of stuff
There’s proper boxes for each thing
It’s just not good enough

You’ve got your figures down all wrong
I think you will confess
But I will do it for you
Because it really is a mess.”

For half an hour I talked to him
Until at last I saw the light
“Right, now I’m satisfied,” he said
“I’m pleased we’ve got it right

As is my wont I joked with him
Before he went away
“When Gordon Brown’s Prime Minister
there’ll be no tax to pay!”

“One moment sir,” the tax man said
“just outside this very minute
two pigs flew by my window
so I wouldn’t bet upon it!”

----OOOO----