Adequate

Cherry

By Highhat

Sat, 09 Feb 2013
  • 2129 reads
21 comments
 

The perfection outshines skylark’s blue
Turning the metaphorical
Into a starry-eyed exchange
Line for line I make believe the unspoken
which leaves my senses unprepared
I know everything was promised
And hug my impossible dream
Crawling back and forth
I unsettle the dust of reminiscence
And follow the present dull illusions
To a fictive rendezvous.
Crushed, as cochineal I bleed
My colours before you.
In this suspended state
I wish never to be released

Philosophers Stone

Certificate U
poems
Love

Comments

Submitted by The Walrus on
Tremendous poem, Pia, it's made me go all tingly. 'Crushed, as cochineal I bleed My colours before you.' - that's luvverly.

Submitted by Highhat on
Oh you're such a star Walrus thanks so much. ;)Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks cherry pickers.

Submitted by Highhat on
I was wondering Walrus- is it okay to use 'whole rich' in this context?

Submitted by Parson Thru on
Wow!!! This is wonderful Pia. Great choice for cherries. Where do those words come from? Agonised and methodically crafted, or plucked down from the air? Just a thought, but the poem felt like it finished on the penultimate line. Like the last one wasn't needed. Do you know what I mean? Of course, I could be talking garbage as usual. Great poem, Pia. x

Parson Thru

Submitted by Highhat on
Ha I know exactly what you mean PT- great observation. I think you are quite right. But I love the words whole rich- what do I do now? I am so glad you enjoyed this. It was such a thrill to write. I could have gone on and on but the words are hard to find sometimes. ;)Pia

Submitted by Parson Thru on
It's great, Pia. One to be justly pleased with. Don't worry too much about what I say.

Parson Thru

Submitted by The Walrus on
I don't know if it's correct to use 'whole rich', but it sounds fine to me.

Submitted by celticman on
well pia if your last one was more a grrrowl this is more philosophical, reflexive and more than adequate. I think it's very difficult to transmute memory to words with meaning, but that shines out here. Great.

 

Submitted by Sharmi on
For someone who just started understanding poetry, I have no words to describe this poem. And I meant that in a good way :)

Sharmi

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you for your kind words Celticman )Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
Hi Sharmi- thanks for your good words. I hope poetry tastes good for you then. ;)Pia

Submitted by shoe on
I envy your ways with language, this is wonderful.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
that's a compliment Shoe- you have quite a way with language yourself. Thank you ;)Pia

Submitted by moonphish on
have to admit "cochineal" sent me scurrying to the dictionary....you've painted a beautiful word picture here, Pia :) - alvin

Submitted by Highhat on
We used the crushed cochineal to dye wool with Alvin- associations and connotations. thanks for reading Alvin ;)Pia

Submitted by lavadis on
Keep hugging that impossible dream. Your hat has never been higher. Stunning work

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks Lavadis very much.

Submitted by VeraClark on
How glorious.Really tight structure and rich word flow.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks Vera for visiting my page.. glad you liked my poem. ;)Pia

Submitted by barboy on
I have been remiss in not reading your stuff properly HH, I am trying to get round a few of the writers who have been kind enough to comment on my work and I thought you would be - of course - the natural place to start given you are the Posting Princess. All I can say is, what a delight for this to have been the first poem I have read. Full of universal energy and rich and deadly imagery...fantastic!