Who am I?
By hoalarg1
Tue, 31 Jul 2012
- 1247 reads
6 comments
Beautiful
sometimes
as the light scrapes round
dusting away the shadows of what I can't tell you
A prisoner
yes
in my own home
stress positioned, crouching behind the walled garden
Kind
just so nobody hurts me?
maybe straining to forge a self
out of someone else's
Fearful
of what is missing
but what drives me
a reminder of my great chance to shine
Angry
a muted cage fighter dressed in silk
climbing up my throat
constricted by conformity
Busy
loading the minutes
with enough to avoid thought
adrenaline, the drug of choice for today
Joyous
freedom to write
therapy from the pen
an opportunity to come clean.
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Comments
Hi Hoalarg, I really like
Permalink Submitted by ItsSteveDave on
Hi Hoalarg, I really like this poem. It resonates deeply with me. It's so easy to put filler in this type of personal experience poem, as I can attest to when reading back some of the things that I write. You know, little throw away emotional cliches in order to keep the form/rhythm constant. I don't find that with this poem. It all sits very well, although I'd pick stanzas 1 & 3 as my favourites. Perhaps stanza 4 could do with a small tweak, but I can't put my finger on why so I'll shut up now! :)
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maybe straining to forge a
maybe straining to forge a self
out of someone else's... absolutely beautiful.
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