Greenwood kindling

Cherry

By lenchenelf

Tue, 25 Aug 2009
  • 3344 reads
12 comments
 

Over poolhall eye gaze,
a meshed scar marks a question
on your brow; reaches past
your glowing stub of childhood,
to dance with a minds' fire tornado.

The smoke snuffs
maddening lice tickle and thought,
spewn as a hard gasp of entrenched
machismo between fingers, gnarled,
with an age you will not reach.

edited 26.08.09
-------------------------------

addendum:
http://www.unicef.org/lac/Desafios_1_ing(5).pdf

Certificate 12
Camera Obscura
Love

Comments

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Nathan, thank YOU very much for a cracking IP, Though I haven't commented on all, yet, the subs in response have been very good reads. all the best Lena

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Brilliant! This is definitely enhanced by the photo and marries perfectly; extremely sad and maddening too. Well done. Chris xx

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Beeme wow what a cracker! This is amazing and romatic I can't catch the moon? but I can keep on dreaming. just like your wonderful poem from beginning to end. No DO NOT CANCELL OUT. julie xx (:-

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
really like this poem, such a sad picture too - they fit so well together

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Thanks to all for your very kind comments. Special note to Beeme, Julie is quite right :-) all the very best, Lena

 

Submitted by Ewan on
You might want an apostrophe in 'minds'. Compelling poem for a compelling image. It could be straight out of 'City of God', no?

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by lenchenelf on
O Woe, I still suffer the curse of apostrophe...thanks Ewan, the film is now on my list of 'must see'. all the best Lena

 

Submitted by Ewan on
How many minds are involved Lena? If it's just one you want 'mind's'. Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Good question :-) now I need to mull over whether I'm referring to a presumed collective response, presented as a body (such as Unicef) or personal...woe, woe ...coffee etc! Thanks again for your keen eye. atb lena

 

Submitted by sunshine on
Ditto all the above - the poem and photo are perfect campanions. Margot

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Back for another read; this really is so very good. One of my favourites here.

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Thanks very much Margot, the photo is of a quality that could prompt many more poems! Chris, thanks again, really pleased that you like it :-) all the best Lena