THE BEANO (IP)
By Linda Wigzell Cress
- 9335 reads
‘Oy, Elsie, ain’t you ready yet?’
Said Albert, looking worried.
‘I’m almost done, just sort yourself –
You know I can’t be hurried’.
‘Our Ruthie’s waiting at the door,
The kids are standing with her
The charabanc has just arrived
It’s parked up near the river’.
It’s Beano day in Bermondsey
All are dressed in Sunday best,
There’s workers, children, Grandad too
With his medals on his chest.
They’re all off to Southend-on-mud
A day out! Can’t be late!
Some kids have never seen the sea
And they can hardly wait.
Halfway there they have a stop
For beer, and squash, and tea
And stand for ages in the queue
At the carsey, for a wee.
Then off they go, all singing now
Songs needing no rehearsal,
And they all cheer when into view
Comes the coach park by the Kursaal.
Some head off for the mile long pier
Some go to beach or pub;
Some paddle in the murky sea
Until it’s time for grub.
There’s sandwiches full of actual sand
But Dad wants jellied eels
So off he pops to the eel-pie shop -
However sick he feels.
The day is done, they’re on the coach
Some sleeping, heading home.
Mum snores so loud she wakes herself
And finds that she’s alone.
‘My Albert’s gone’ she cries aloud,
Sounding quite irate.
The driver says: ‘I can’t turn back,
My morning trip’s Margate'.
They soon got home, and Elsie wept
In anger more than sorrow;
‘Ruthie said ‘He will be home
All safe and sound tomorrow’.
All night they waited, sipping tea
Ruth said: ‘he’s prob’ly drunk’
Mum was sure she’d see him no more,
Convinced he’d done a bunk.
And she was right; he’d taken flight
And dumped his nagging wife;
Now he felt happy, young and free
For the first time in his life.
Down at Southend on the front
It’s true, Albert got tipsy.
But he’d gone and had his fortune told –
And run off with the Gipsy!
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Comments
mum woke herself with snoring
mum woke herself with snoring. Yep. Tick that box.
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'Cor strewth, Albie popped
'Cor strewth, Albie popped out for his eels then he slipped away with Gipsy Rosie Lee! Like all of our IPs this week we are in the land of Just About Could Maybe .... Good fun Elsie
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I enjoyed every bit of this.
I enjoyed every bit of this. So, so well done, Linda! Such fun!!!
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Great stuff, Linda;-)
Great stuff, Linda;-)
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Well done on the cherries,
Well done on the cherries, Linda. Excellent characterisation of the day trippers and a hilarious description of their eventful journey. Pleased to see the 'charabanc' an 'dressed in Sunday best' mentioned. I too have used those expressions in my version.
All the best, Luigi.
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Hi Linda :) Brilliant, loved
Hi Linda :) Brilliant, loved it. nothing else to say,
Keep Smiling
Keep Writing :)))))
Keep Smiling
Keep Writing xxx
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I enjoy you're abilities with
I enjoy you're abilities with rhythm and rhyme too, Linda, and the things you pack in like 'Mum snores so loud she wakes herself' and 'paddle in the murky sea Until it’s time for grub.' but I couldn't help feeling sad in the end, – so true to life that jollity can end so, sad for the silly nagging wife, and more so for Albert who, would probably soon stop feeling happy, young and free for the first time in his life, and find he'd jumped out of the frying pan into the fire! Rhiannon
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A lovely piece Linda - glad
A lovely piece Linda - glad you felt so inspired by the IP! Great rhythm and great storytelling.
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Oh Linda, How I can relate to
Oh Linda, How I can relate to this and what days they were. You've got it spot on as the days used to go.
Remember the wall of death in the Kursaal and Oh what I would give for a plate of southend Cockles. Yep, full of grit/sand but delicious. The train ride along the pier and a walk back. Bloody long time ago now.
Well deserved Cherries
I'm still laughing at the finish. I'm goin' to Sowfend tomorra! Royx
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Had a great day thanks Linda.
Had a great day thanks Linda. Thank you also for my lovely Card. Made an old fella very happy.
Royx
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This was so very funny Linda
This was so very funny Linda and put a smile on my face. Well done on a great IP and very deserved of the cherries. Jenny.
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Hi Linda, I'm looking
Hi Linda, I'm looking forward to reading this one at next weeks Open Mic Night. Hope you don't mind but I have slightly changed 2nd line penultimate verse. to, In anger more than sorrow. Seems to roll off the tongue a little easier for me. Roy
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Your very welcome Linda. I
Your very welcome Linda. I think i'm getting a bit above myself since winning that slot in book hahaha.
We shall se after I've tried performing in front of an audience ;-(. Royx
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Hello Linda,
Hello Linda,
Oh how this poem resonated with me. Mum would take us to Southend on the train and we would sit on the mud laughingly known as the beach and eat our spam sandwiches and drink our bottle of tea and my brother and I would go for a swim no matter how cold it was.
Later when we saw beano trippers they never queued for the Karzi there used to be a long line of men either peeing up the side of the coach or lined up against the hedge as if waiting for a firing squad.
Harder days but happier I think. We had the best of it.
Moya
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Hi Linda, Oh yes memories.
Hi Linda, Oh yes memories. We went by boat from Tower bridge to Sowfend. When we got to the Sowfend Peer, the Sea/River was a complete blanket of pink jellyfish. Loved the cockles though. Roy
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