Teeth Tales - Decline and Fall

Everything was hunky-dory
when I had thirty-two,
but now it's a different story:
all that remains is two.

Eight of them were incisors
for easily cutting food;
were as sharp as razors,
their efficiency was good.

Canines, premolars, molars, 
were parts of the crown
which soon changed colours
from pearly white to brown.

It wasn't just a misadventure
that caused such decay.
Poor hygiene made a denture
necessary without delay.

My dentist's earnest advice 
is that I get implants
but when I hear the price
I explode with angry rants.