Goody Two Shoes

Cherry

By Turlough

Sat, 30 Dec 2023
  • 574 reads
17 comments
 

 

I always stand for older folks when travelling on buses

I’m always kind to turtles, dolphins, whales and octopuses

I sympathise with people who need poultices and trusses

I stay away from arguments, from fracases and fusses

I rarely eat the whole KitKat to avoid those sugar rushes

And always put the seat back down; I know what a toilet brush is

 

I don’t smoke cigs or pipes or spliffs or Cuban fat cigars

I don’t dress up all tarty and hang around in bars

I’m not the fighting kind of bloke with broken teeth and scars

I don’t go racing down the streets in noisy motor cars

I’ve never thrown my underwear at concerts by rock stars

And in all my life I’ve only put ten pence into swear jars

 

I don’t eat meat or fish or frogs or little dead crustaceans

I no longer fall asleep at night in draughty railway stations

I don’t pretend I’m not at home when visited by relations

And the days are gone for being caught in compromising situations

For achieving this I must deserve New Year's congratulations

If you count them up I’ve more resolutions than the United Nations

 

Image:

Me, in a Cuban fat cigar factory.

Certificate U
Poem
Poetry in Commotion
Humour
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Turlough on

Many thanks indeed to the cherry award donating editors.

Turlough

Submitted by airyfairy on

I trust you were doing your best Groucho Marx impression when that photo was taken! Lovely poem, by the way.

Submitted by Turlough on

Thank you.

The photograph is actually Groucho Marx wearing his latex Turlough Ó Maoláin mask that his mum bought him in the joke shop at the back of the market.

Turlough

Submitted by Rhymes And Reasons on

'My New Year's Resolution Is To Stop Smoking.' By May/June around my birthday it will be one year smoke free for me. The biggest birthday present ever. Wish Me Luck. Happy New Year!

smiley

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I wish you the absolute very best of luck. I've never smoked cigarettes myself (though I have smoked herrings) but I've lived amongst those who have, and some who have given up and I can see that it's far from being easy. From the results I have witnessed I can tell you that it's well worth enduring the agony.

Keep it up!

Turlough

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I like your amusing take on the I P Turlough. Cool photo too.

Happy New Year.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Ta very much Jenny.

Happy New Year to you too, when it comes.

Turlough

Submitted by D G Moody on

Turlough - you have just put the smile back on my face, and I needed that. Such an inspired piece of whimsy - red cherry well-earned!

Happy New Year 

Dougie Moody

Submitted by Turlough on

Whimsy works wonders!

It makes me smile to know that I made you smile.

Best wishes to you.

Turlough

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Great rhymes :0) You must have SO MANY photos!!!

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Thanks Di.

I do have a fair few photographs. It's been my hobby for a long long time.

Turlough

Submitted by celticman on

aye, you've done well. goody!

 

Submitted by Turlough on

If only it was true.

Turlough

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Do you know the hard rock star Alice Cooper? Made me think of "no more mr nice guy".

Keep well Turlough! Cheers! Tom

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I'm aware of two Alice Coopers. One is a rock star famous for apparently biting the heads off chickens on stage and the other a little old lady in spectacles and cardigan who was a client of mine back in the days when I was a health care professional sort of a bloke.

Thanks for reading Tom. Next new year my resolution will be to give up writing poems full of fibs.

Good on you! 

Turlough

Submitted by Tom Brown on

I think it was rats, if you bit off a chicken's head it would be very energetic running all around the stage. Great sports. My favourite would be "desperado" I think, it's about a gunslinger outlaw. He played with a snake also on stage, I mean a real snake a python not like Jim M.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I've just done the Googling thing and it would appear that dear Alice never actually bit the head off anything.

Once in the late 1960s someone threw a live chicken on stage. Expecting it to be able to fly, he threw it back into the crowd, but it obviously couldn't and the crowd did unspeakable things to it. To that tale, all sorts of embellishments were added.

I never listened to his albums, so I only really knew his singles, all of which were good with the possible exception of the 1990s comeback job he had entitled 'Poison' which was a bit too Bon Jovi / poodle rock for me.

'Hello Hurray!' was a belter of a song. I think I still have the seven inch vinyl record hidden away somewhere secret.

 

 

Turlough