Letters on the Mat

Letters on the Mat

From being weaned from off the teat

Our kids could never seem to eat

Breakfast without making a complete

And utter mess with Shredded Wheat *

Sometimes we’d give them fruit and custard

That caused mayhem, had us quite flustered

I’m afraid we called them little bustards

The neighbours must have been disgusted

They’d stare at us like hungry gators

Their mum and I mere frightened waiters

Popping pills that would sedate us

Enough to serve their meat and tayters

Worst of all was Alphabetti Spaghetti

Hurled all around like wet confetti

Stuck to the drapes and on the settee

It made more mess than spermaceti

They’d smear it wherever they were sat

Some on the dog, some on the cat

They’d struggle with their bowls, then splat!

A pile of letters on the mat

* It was Weetabix really, but that doesn’t fit.

Image:

My own photograph of my own Scrabble board. The Bulgarian words ‘букви на килима’ are pronounced as ‘bukvi na kilima’ and they mean ‘letters on the mat’.