The National Geographic Channel

(I sit down on couch and point remote controls at TV.)
Me: Its great having smart TV. Now I can pick the programmes I want to watch. I wonder whats on the National Geographic Channel.
(I press button on controls selecting a programme.)
Voice from TV: The lion. A deadly, ruthless killer brutally slaying animals.
Me: Oh I don't fancy that. Too violent. Perhaps a nice documentary about pandas.
(I select programme about Panda's)
Voice from TV: The panda. One of natures most deadly and blood thirsty creatures.
Me: Uhh? Well maybe a programme about the amazon rainforest. Nice parrots and monkeys and things.
(I select a programme about the Amazon.)
Voice from TV: The amazon. Natures battleground. Thousands of acres of emerald forest drenched in blood.
Me: *Sigh* Well maybe a documentary about the English countryside. Beatrix Potter land. Little rabbits and squirrels. That must be a nice place.
(I select a programme about the English countryside.)
Voice from TV: The English countryside. Natures murder capital.
(I switch off the TV.)
Me: This is ridiculous. Aren't there any programmes on the National Geographic Channel that aren't about violence. I mean natures not all violent; there are nice peaceful things too.
(I go outside into my garden to enjoy nature, taking a long deep breath, I smile)
Me: Aaaargh!
(I'm suddenly attacked by a ferocious pack of wild rabbits who, tearing at me with sharp rabbit claws, drag me off into the undergrowth).