Cherrypicked stories
Le Chat Noir
It was that fateful afternoon that the exclusively black cat named - 'Puddy' as a ridiculous nametag betrayed, made its entrance into my life. Cuddly moniker aside the beast had an almost ethereal presence. With its fierce emerald eyes resonating eerie intensity and black outline of exquisite proportions, it was certainly 'otherworldly.' It is said that the ancient Egyptians ascribed to the cat a god like status and 'Puddy' with his sleek graces and his regal manifestation was the living illustration that this was not misplaced.
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- 1214 reads
24th-25th Sept
"Sure. I hear myself say. She's skinny and gorgeous and he's in love with her is what I'm thinking. But that's not what I say. What else, but "Sure.
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- 1175 reads
Journal 26th Sept
Regret. People say they have no regrets. I think they are in denial. How do you learn if you have no regrets? How do you change? How do you get it right the next time? How do you progress? How do you get happy? If you have no regrets, you've just stopped feeling your feelings, you've stopped aiming, stopped trying, you're avoiding.
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- 946 reads
Larry & Mick Enter Bulgarian Airspace
'Hey Larry, guess what!' 'What?' 'I've just found that rocket we built all those years ago!' '"We?' 'I helped with the colour scheme.' 'Hmm.' 'Well anyway, curious thing... I was just in Dr. Cherrybalti's earlier, getting my toenails clipped...' 'Dr. Cherrybalti, the veterinary surgeon?' 'Yes.' 'Carry on.'
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- 2096 reads
Journal 28th Sept
It's Gardener's birthday.
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- 977 reads
Let's Hear it For the Cat!
Who could slit a young woman's throat for no reason that we can see? And not just one girl ' for we know that he did it many times. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight The Whole Truth will try to answer this question. Tonight ' please, forgive me the tremor in my voice, for I am as excited as you are ' we have as our guest the man who terrorised this city a decade ago. Let's hear it for the Cat!
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- 867 reads
Birthday Girl.
The bitch Didn't ask her to the party, Made her feel like a piece of old shit, On the bottom Of her Peacocks 3.99 sandals. Jealousy, Is a cruel , cruel thing, Especially When you're 7 years old.
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- 1169 reads
Reiki
She held her hands out like forgiveness for all the sinew and pavement I mounted like a playground, she offered me socks and sleep her eyes gummed shut like my tin of vaseline.
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- 1620 reads
Condition
'I think you will find that the conditions and cautions of this parternship have expired.' This is how he put it my banker boyfriend, his hair as set a s a scallop his tongue as scrubbed as a club latrine,
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- 1929 reads
The chicken at the door
Stephen lived in a bedroom crawling with feelings. His duvet was shiny and slipped over him like a slug when he slept, and his headboard was hairy like a hyena and coarse if you stroked it the wrong way. Sometimes the headboard got a bit unruly and tried to eat him when he wasn't looking.
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- 886 reads
Alex Obolensky: Teacher and Traitor
In the lounge, in Woodyard House, in Hartington, in Derbyshire, the hearth fire snapped and my friend, Alex Obelensky, son of runaway Russian nobles, asked me, "You wanna come and collect sheep-turds?"
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- 2198 reads
The Electric Picnic
This (together with the Iceland and Camden pieces) completes a sort of tryptich of articles about watching rock bands and getting older. I'm done with that now.
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- 2794 reads
Careful, love, I'm thinking of Morrissey
***************
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- 1806 reads
That's all, I don't think of you often...
I always look for you on NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS. In the identity parade. You'd be the one with the blonde mullet, shaky piss artist's knee tremble.
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- 887 reads
Journal 13th Sept
Love is a funny business and the Universe has some sense of humour. Bringing me a man who loves me. Just to hold me.
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- 1038 reads
Journal 10th-12th Sept
She's one of those women who appears mousy and compliant, the silent treatment victim types, who always get their steely way. She could be Japanese. My mother.
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- 1182 reads
PARAFFIN
So when did you come here, I asked her. Nineteen and sixty, the woman said. Same as me.
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- 766 reads