Post mortem results


By love_writing
- 4051 reads
Post mortem results
lie in a brown Please do not bend envelope
with the old address and our separate surnames written
in different coloured ink yours black. Mine blue
the results do not say much really, don’t offer any
–ok so that was the reason and with that comes a resolution
the resolution (someone said) is that there is no resolution
I had waited to hear of some strange defect or illness
or some disease that would (someone else said) mean that
you were better off not being. Here
the nothingness of it all, the blankness of the page
of the results, gave no relief to that image which kept
replaying in my head, replays even now. Can’t look at
that last photo, the very last square photo; your
head wrapped in a white bandage, slit eyes shut, your face
puffy, purple, blue, tiny. Our photo at your side. A Teddy.
Had it been worth the wait, the wait for the results?
The -I can’t say it- the cutting the examining, the wrapping you
back up to look like a mummy. No.
Just one of those things, Dr Nobody had said sliding
the brown envelope across her desk to me; the cord was
wrapped around six times but that happened after. After.
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Comments
Very sad. I expect if you are
Very sad. I expect if you are waiting for a possible explanation if feels like it may solve something for you, though probably it wouldn't really make a difference to the shattering bereavement. The 'whether to have a PM or not' must be so hard, though the feeling something from it may help towards the care of someone else's ill child. Rhiannon
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I feel the emptiness. No
I feel the emptiness. No answers are good enough, but we need them.
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This is our Facebook and
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The expectation of some
The expectation of some clarity and cause is so sharply delivered in this, it's breathtaking when no news comes after such intolerable intrusion. A staggering piece. Technically, I think your font changes and inner voice are very effective, bring even more to the piece and that such well composed metrics never miss a beat.
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A broken, stuttering voice
A broken, stuttering voice delivering blunt truths. Want to read it again but the emotional journey is torture. Fantastic writing.
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The results are so cold and
The results are cold and clinical compared to the reality, and 'Just one of those things,' is just plain cruel.
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So very painful. The final
So very painful. The final word suggesting so much. A difficult but illuminating read.
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The structure really does
The structure really does work with the content. The poem grabs you and won't let go. The sadness, the disappointment, the despair, all conveyed with precision but no loss of emotion. I am glad to hear you found it therapeutic to write. It would be good if Dr Nobody was made to read it.
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