STAR TRUMP: Badly going where no President has ever gone before

Captains Tweet, Stardate 6001. 2
Had a great day as Starfleet Captain. I'm doing a fantastic job. So important for Starfleet that I am captain.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6024. 5
I'm a smart guy, a very smart guy, I went to Starfleet Academy. I challenged Lieutenant Uhura to produce her birth certificate and prove that she was born in America. She showed me a birth certificate but I doubt wether its a real birth certficate. It looked fake to me.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6138. 4
Fake Lieutenant Uhuru said that there were Klingons off the starboard bow. I didn't see any Klingons. I told her they were fake klingons.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6145. 6
I tried to grab Lieutenant Uhuru's pussy. She didn't like that. I think it may have been a fake pussy. I'm not sure if she's even a woman.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6186. 8
Why do we keep going to these shithole planets? We should be going to swedish planets.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6297. 9
It turns out that Lieutenant Uhuru was right about the Klingon Starship off the starboard bow. I spoke to the Klingon Commander. I call him rocket man. I told rocket man that my photon torpedos were bigger than his photon torpedos.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6385.4
Some people; sick, sick people, have said that the Klingons helped me get my position as a starfleet captain. Its disgusting; its so phony. TlhIngan maH taHjaj! (Trans: Make Klingons Great Again)

Captains Tweet, Stardate 6595. 2
I said that Mr Spock had fake ears. He said that I had a tribble on my head. Its not a tribble. I have great hair.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6623. 3
Doctor McCoy, I doubt if he's a real Doctor just one of the fake doctors we have with Obamacare, thinks I am unfit to be ships captain. I'm not unfit. I'm a smart captain; infact I'd say genius captain; probably the greatest captain there ever was.
Captains Tweet,Stardate 6733.4
Another brilliant day because of me.  I told Mr Scot that we're going to build a wall around the Starship to keep out the Klingons. He says we can't do it because it breaks the laws of physics. Fake science.
Captains Tweet, Stardate 6824.5
Sloppy Spock, thats what I call our fake science officer, says the crew think I'm child like and incompetent. I think he's stupid and he has stupid fake ears.