Morning Star Horoscopes Page, with Karl Marx
You’ve had a tough time lately
making ends meet,
but all your money worries will soon be over!
A socialist windfall is on the way
as the downtrodden masses rise up
when Saturn enters the house of Capricorn.
Problems at work have been troubling you recently.
You and authority don’t mix!
Hold on tight until the twenty-third, when you’ll
seize control of the means of production
and smash the chains of worldwide imperialism that enslave humanity
as Mars reaches the Libran descendant.
Your love-life has been somewhat
on the back burner of late, comrade.
But don’t worry. On the fifteenth,
your libido will be shaken awake
as the glorious proletarian revolution sweeps capitalism
and all that lacklustre sex
into the dustbin of history.
Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio,
Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
You are reactionary bourgeois swine.