rock
By Di_Hard
- 3825 reads
I remember the barnacles that scratched
when I clung to your steep side as waves crashed;
they found you first on your journey through life -
opinions formed from injustice and strife.
But also pink sea thrift flowers springing
like pockets of joy, and seagulls winging
high in the blue vastness of your belief,
that in doing our best we find relief
from all spite or hardship that weighs us down
as we seek to find a way of our own.
Whatever happened, or was said, I knew
we loved each other : always my rescue,
but now you're gone and in strange seas I stand
holding my child with feet deep in your sand
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Comments
Hello Di,
Hello Di,
having that one special someone that we can lean on is always so supportive, but hard to accept when they're gone. I love your poem with its poetic voice that speaks of being there for support through the good times and the bad.
Beautifully mastered.
Jenny.
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The one you found a rock gone
The one you found a rock gone, but the 'sand' left in its wake still gives steadiness? A rock having barnacles from life's bruises, but also thrift joy bubbling out is an evocative picture. Rhiannon
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I wasn't correcting, I just
I wasn't correcting, I just assumed it was thrift and you were using the word fret about it for some reason! Rh
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Wonderful metaphor, Di, and
Wonderful metaphor, Di, and good rhymes and rhythm.
Luigix
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Lots of texture and emotion
Lots of texture and emotion in this, the metaphor of a large rock, imperfect but unbreakable as this person in your life, it sounds like somebody we could all use. 'Holding my child with feet deep in your sand' is wonderful and you cannot help but form an image in your mind as you read.
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Just wonderful again... a
Just wonderful again... a full heart and the right words, a natural musicality in how they fall, your writing is a natural extension of you... do you have any books/collections out?
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