Dad and Mum

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Canonette

Tue, 04 Feb 2014
  • 8772 reads
31 comments
 

The Philanderer’s Daughter

Dark rage and uproar, his moods destroy all certainty. 
My dad is a force of nature, 
a tempest, a mad-eyed clown.
My dad fucks nurses on his days off.
My dad boasts of his many conquests -
then flirts with me. 
My dad says your mum was such a goer.
Only my dad can control me completely, 
scares me - grins when I flinch.
My dad makes my jaw ache, much
bigger than your dad.
He glances at me in the bathtub 
parts my legs when we’re alone.  
My dad is sociopathic.
He warns me
tell no one of this or you’re dead meat.
You can tell when he’s on the make, behind
my poor mum’s back.
Says he’ll fuck me up like him.
Tells me men are all the same.

The Potato Peeler’s Daughter

Cold hands and dark lore, her absence shapes my destiny. 
My mum is a lonely future, 
a wasteland, a hard-faced cow.
My mum lazes on a filthy sofa.
My mum leaves me feeling desolate -
no love for me.
My mum says you are such a sly cat. 
Only my mum can make me feel this bad,
tells me – you spiteful bitch.
My mum makes my heart ache, much
crueller than your mum.
She glares at me like she hates me 
gorgon looks turn me to stone.
My mum is so sarcastic.
She tells me
you haven’t the sense you were born with.
You can see that she is bitter, smile
and her face will crack.
Scared she’ll fuck me up like her.
I hate to think we’re the same.

Certificate 18
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Canonette on

This poem is based on Vera Clark's My Father, The Skinner and published with her permission.

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

This poem has broken my heart.

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Thank you for inspiring me to write poetry, with your incredible talent, Vera.

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Thank you for the cherries - they're the first ones to bring a tear to my eyes.

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Keep going Sylvia, just keep flowing wild and don't you dare hold me responsible for what happens next.

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Funny, Sylvia was my pseudonym as a little girl - I felt it suited me better!  It doesn't flow out of me - I think I'm doing it all wrong.

 

Submitted by blackjack-davey on

i love all the contradictions of this page, the hamster with the yellow knitted cap  and then I read this and am immediately drawn to the disturbance. Two very different sorts of bad parenting-- if it's even parenting---the father and the threat of violence seems to be a feature in lot of your work and also the image of happiness when you climb Long Mynd together-- that sounds so much like a 60s concept album. You've hit a vein

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Hi Flapjack,  Thanks for your comments. I've hit an artery and I'm spraying blood everywhere!  It's like a 1970s video nasty.  My childhood will provide me with decades of writing material - I just wish I'd put pen to paper much earlier in life.

 

Submitted by catherine poarch on

I agree with Vera, it's really heart-breaking. It's a list of pain that just seems unstoppable. I could hardly bear to look at some of what the philanderer was doing but the words that struck me most were about the mother being a lonely future, a wasteland. Congratulations on the golden cherries.

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

laugh

 

Submitted by scratch on

Well canonette, as you know I have been following your writing from the start, it has been a pleasure.  Best of all thus far, has been witnessing the evolution in terms of your writing skill.  

This post 'Dad and Mum' represents the most significant step in that development so far; by far.  That you have found a poetic 'voice' despite your screams that you don't have one - is hugely significant.  

Some of the greatest writers of prose write the most awful poetry and vice versa.  It's rare to find someone who can do both.  Here is the first glimpse that you can.

Well done.

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Thanks Scratch!  You've made me go all fuzzy inside - means a lot to me that you like my pome.

 

Submitted by Jewel Serpent on

This made me quite a bit more emotional than writing usually can do, and that takes some doing, congratulations, Canonette. This is a fine poem and if it's only the beginning of your poetry career I'd like to see quite a bit more.

Submitted by Canonette on

Thank you Jewel Serpent and welcome to the site.  Yes, these are my first tentative attempts at poetry.  I still feel like I'm fumbling around in the dark!

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Many thanks for Pick of the Day.  Made me very emotional.

 

Submitted by celticman on

Disturbing. But that's a good thing.

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Know how very much pick of the week means to you.Good on you, poetic one.

 

Submitted by scratch on

Pick of the week for poetry.  Enjoy the moment.

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Thanks celticman.

Thanks Vera and Scratch - it's tragic how much getting Poem of the Week means to me!  I might never have the guts to write another - end my poetry career on a high!

 

Submitted by scratch on

yescheeky  Don't be daft!  Just keep going.  

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Thanks Harpie for your encouragement and lovely comment.  You got it - I think of them as fire and ice, but Punch and Judy is funnier!

 

Submitted by jolono on

Powerful stuff Canonette. I loved the structure of this. One thing that stood out in both poems was halfway though when you almost say with pride...

"My dad makes my jaw ache, much bigger than your dad."

"My Mum makes my heart ache, much crueller that your Mum."

Something else comes through in the lines " My dad is a force of nature."Once again for all the hurt there is a almost a compliment given.

Then the line " My mum is a lonely future." For all the hurt there is a compassionate sadness. 

Hard to read, yet a MUST READ. Congratulations on cherries and POTW. Well deserved.

 

 

 

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Hi Joe,

I borrowed the structure from Vera Clark's My Father, The Skinner, and was very much inspired by her brilliant poem.

I have an ambivalent relationship with my parents.  I was echoing that playground phrase "my dad's bigger than your dad."  There may have been a feeling of pride when I was a child that my dad was harder and more of a nutcase than other people's fathers.  His craziness could also be fun sometimes - that's if you like being pulled along on rollerskates whilst holding on to the bumper of a car or throwing knives or getting drunk on cocktails.

Sad to say - it's my lonely future I'm referrring to - having parents like that doesn't really set you up in life for happy relationships!

Still, at least I have words!

 

 

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Dear G-d what a horrendous pair! In some ways the mad angry bitterness of the potato-peeler cuts deeper although I am sure she would say that the philanderer 'made' her what she became. Where does all the misery stop? Giving voice to it in this way is a powerful move .

And an afterthought here. The two are very much a couple, does the daughter wish that the philanderer would protect her from the potato peeler?  Or vice versa?   Elsie

Submitted by Canonette on

Thanks for reading Elsie and for your comment.  It's great to find my voice at last.  I've found that poetry is the best medium for discussing my relationships with my parents - it's really satisfying.

 

Submitted by jolono on

And what great words they are...

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Wow! This is so unusual in its format yet thoroughly impactful and brilliant. I bet these words will resonate with a depressingly high number of people who can identify (in varying degrees) with these two parent characters. Pick of the day well deserved. 

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Thank you Jane.  I'm glad it spoke to you.

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Poem of the week well-deserved I mean!

 

Submitted by Crumble pie on

Brave, beautiful and haunting. I wanted to stop reading about the pain of this life, yet knew I had to finish in order to ensure the voice is heard.
Incredible talent.

Pages