10th july grasshopper
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By Di_Hard
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mossy rocks tumbled from windbreak wall
hold back reed tines' reaching on and on
to moor's distance misty bright of gorse
here, in warm air, low harboured, still, sound
like faint mechanical maraccas
signals a grasshopper's lonely heart
while a hoverfly seems drawn to match
yellow stripes with sunny tormentil
flowers dainty in short, curving grass
as, moving commas in the silence
ants search for meaning up every rise
and so weave their part in the pattern
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Comments
Ants like moving commas.
Ants like moving commas..mechanical maraccas-the grasshoppers lonley heart ...this made me smile it was a unique perspective. I liked the view from the lowest occupants of the land.
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Penny4 says everything
Penny4 says everything necessary about this wonderful piece - thank you Di. Your nature poems this summer/spring are quite spectacular!
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you draw the eyes from the
you draw the eyes from the scene stretching into the distance to the insects busy in the nearby, and a sense of quiet and restful pause, watching. Rhiannon
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Beautiful, Di. Lovely imagery
Beautiful, Di. Lovely imagery and loved the ant punctuation and lovelorn grasshoppers too.
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Very present in your
Very present in your observations, I would like to be this present... faint mechanical maraccas and ants/moving commas are diamonds that leap out. I liked 'searched for meaning up every rise ', I suppose everything you do is imbued with/creating meaning, so I suppose they are within their world, and that is reassuring... sparkling work as ever
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High five for putting your
High five for putting your work out there though! You have a unique voice. I haven't submitted anything for a few years, I think finding the right places to try was a big part of it, everybody looking for different things... used to make spreadsheets to work through for potential submissions, do the same for music stuff, let me know if you want me to make you a spreadsheet, I enjoy it!
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Hello Di,
Hello Di,
can't believe I missed this delightful poem. You give the grasshopper a personality with the lines:-
here, in warm air, low harboured, still, sound
like faint mechanical maraccas
signals a grasshopper's lonely heart
I could imagine the grasshopper singing its heart out to the hoverfly and ants as they go about their business.
I also loved the description of ants looking like moving commas, what a great metaphore.
Sorry I'm late to your lovely poem which I've only just found.
Jenny.
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Hi Di.
Hi Di.
In terms of scanning, "mechanical maracas signal"? Adverbs in verse tend to weaken the effect. Maybe.
Parson Thru
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ants, searching for something
ants, searching for something (is "meaning" stretching credulity?) maybe delete "and so"?
Lovely observation and idea. Excuse my rude intrusion. ;)
Parson Thru
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