Metamorphosis

I had gone back to Southampton for a few days to visit my mum, and I was in the town centre.  Peering in the plate glass window of a department store, I was horrified to see the reflection of my ex-husband standing behind me. I straightened up quickly but our eyes had met and there was no way to pretend I hadn't seen him.

He'd obviously gone upmarket – on his arm he had a slim, sophisticated blonde in an expensive coat. A wave of vindictiveness went through me.  Huh, I thought, here's my chance to get back at him.  I'll embarrass him in front of his snooty girlfriend …

'So what happened to that fat bird you ran off with then ?', I asked. 'The one with the carroty hair and the buck teeth ?'

He turned bright red.  'Um, ah, she –', he stuttered. Got him ! Serves him right  !

And then she said 'I lost weight. I got my teeth fixed.  And, if you absolutely must push me, no my hair colour isn't natural.  Is yours ?'

Muttering apologies I slunk off.  They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold.  I wish I hadn't tried to eat it at all.