The Amazing Mr Meep

Doris Didcott was a kind hearted old lady but none too bright, so everyone said, and she needed to wear a pair of prescription bi-focals as thick as welder's goggles without which she was as blind as a bat and which she always had a terrible habit of misplacing.

So it was little wonder that she failed to notice what, to most others, might have seemed obvious; that there was something rather peculiar about her lodger, Mr Meep.

“Have you heard the news on the wireless, Mr Meep?”, she’d asked, the day after he’d arrived carrying an odd, silver and triangular suitcase with him.

“Meep?”, he’d replied.

“It’s quite worrying”, said Doris, “Apparently, there was one of those..what do you call them? ..undignified floating oddjobs; spotted over Bexwell Heath. That’s only down the road from here. I do hope I don’t run into any little green men, Mr Meep. I should be quite petrified if I ever met one of those Extra Pedestrians. What do you think?”

“Meep!”, replied Mr Meep.

“Exactly”, said Mrs Didcott, handing Mr Meep a warm cup of tea that she had just made.

It was rather a salty cup of tea because, without her glasses, Mrs Didcott often mixed up her cornishware containers for Salt and Sugar but Mr Meep seemed to like the salty tea very much; slurping it down eagerly before handing the empty cup back to his landlady.

Then, suddenly, they both heard the sound of wailing police sirens from Mrs Didcotts radio. It was a news report, not about unidentified flying objects this time
but about a bank robbery.

“Two masked bank robbers with guns”, said the on the spot news reporter, “have just been seen entering the Royal Bank in Mercat Street. Police have surrounded the building but, so far, have made no attempt to enter”.

“Oh, those poor people inside that bank”, said Mrs Didcott, “They must be terribly frightened with those awful bank robbers pointing guns at them. If only someone could do something to help them”.

“Meep!”, replied Mr Meep, with a rather determined look upon his face; then, raising his bowler hat in a gentlemanly fashion, he opened the front door of Mrs Didcott’s house and rushed out at an incredible speed.

“Unbelievable!”, said the news reporter on the radio, “I have just seen, with my own eyes, what can only be described as a furry, blue thingummybob wearing what looks
like a large bowler hat and a long stripy necktie, descend from the sky and land right infront of the bank and, oh my word, the furry, blue thingummybob is now entering the bank”.

“Did you hear that, Mr Meep?”, said Mrs Didcott, addressing her coat rack and the fake fur coat hanging from it, unaware that Mr Meep had slipped out, “Quite extraordinary!”

“Quite extraordinary indeed”, said the reporter on the radio, seeming to agree with Mrs Didcott, “A giant, blue, furry thingummybob flying down from the sky. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen ..but wait..what’s this? The giant blue thingummybob is coming back out of the bank. It has a rather cross look on its furry face and it’s carrying two squirming bank robbers under its large, blue, furry arms and now it’s
dumping the bank robbers, who look quite dazed and surprised, infront of a uniformed
police seargent who looks just as stunned as the bank robbers and now the strange, blue creature is tipping its bowler hat and I think its beginning to levitate off of the ground. Yes, I believe that the creature is now starting to fly away”.

“My word, that is odd”, said Mrs Didcott, “What do you think, Mr Meep?”.

“Meep!”, replied Mr Meep, flying back in through the front door just in time to hear his landlady’s question and slightly breathless from tackling two armed bank robbers.

“Exactly”, agreed Mrs Didcott, “More tea, Mr Meep?”.

The old woman handed Mr Meep another cup of her salty tea and the furry blue alien creature slurped it up gratefully.

Then, suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

“Yes?”, asked Mrs Didcott, opening her front door and seeing, though her vision was rather blurry, what she guessed to be a police constable in a tall helmet.

“Sorry to bother you, Madam”, said the constable, “But we have had reports of a large, blue, furry thingummybob seen entering your house earlier today”.

“A thingummybob?”, gasped Mrs Didcott, “In my house? Oh no, constable. There are no thingummybobs in my house, I can assure you. Only me and my nice lodger Mr Meep”.

The old lady pointed towards something next to her but, try as he might, when the policeman looked in that direction he couldn’t see anything and he assumed that the old lady must be a little bit doolally.

“Yes, well, personally, I’m not sure if I believe any of this furry, blue thingummybob stuff”, said the policeman, with a look of consternation on his face, “But, if you do see anything suspicious, please do not hesitate to give us a call at the police station. Alright, madam?”.

Then the constable went on his way; Mrs Didcott shut her front door and Mr Meep, who had made himself invisible using an odd gizmo that he always wore around his wrist, reappeared behind her.

“I think we’d certainly notice if there was a big, blue furry thingummybob around here. Wouldn’t we, Mr Meep?”, said Doris.

“Meep!”, agreed Mr Meep.