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It was a clear, cool autumnal morning, when the neighbourhood cats became obsessed with my toast. Not just slightly interested. Not just sniffing curiously at the edges. Obsessed - in a full-on Stephen King / Steve Buscemi eyes / psychopathic stalker kind of a way. It was disturbing, freaky, not to mention downright abnormal behaviour for a creature of the feline persuasion. I've never seen cats act this way before. Marmosets, dingoes and aardvarks, yes, but never cats. Let me tell you what happened¦

remember, my poems should be read aloud

Heavy pilots crashing on my kingdom, my sorcerers told me. Faerie dragons are plotting a rebellion, as they don't like the piles of metallic junk on their enchanted grounds. I knew a pilot some time

Slightly dodgy light-hearted poem.

How hard are you?

'For camels?' said Mick. 'Yes, camels,' said Larry. 'But we don't get camels in Worcestershire,' said Mick.

SCENE 1. INT. NIGHT JIM ( A COCKNEY) IS GETTING READY FOR THE LIVERPOOL V AC MILAN CHAMPOINS LEAGUE FINAL JIM: (To himself) Now come on lads. This is just another day at the office, nothing to worry about. We need to work as a unit and we'll be fi-

I've been staying at my Mom's house in Ashland, OR. I've accepted a job at a university in Thailand that starts at the beginning of November. I passed up a job in Korea that payed three times as much with approximately the same cost of living. I did so because the Thailand job has fewer hours and is located in a very small city surrounded by Buddhist temples. I hope to use my free time to continue my study of the world.

You were easily hooked when I found you in mid-winter, met you on a cool date to melt the ice so we both could breathe. Ring a ring a roses, you brought your posies You could have been a lion