She said, he said

By seashore
Thu, 31 Mar 2011
- 6677 reads
20 comments
I'm weary
she said
but he queried
the word
like he'd
misunderstood
weary, she said,
not wary - like tired
only more so
more than what
he asked
as round
in circles they went
talking words and
meanings,
pronunciations
(and hearing aids)
then she lay on the bed
with the covers
over her head.
Now I'm weary too
he said
with a smile
as he lay down
beside her
and they slept
for a while -
both of them
weary - and wary
- Log in to post comments
Comments
I like it. Very subtle but
I like it. Very subtle but then what else do we expect?
- Log in to post comments
I liked this Seashore- very
I liked this Seashore- very well put. No arguments just weary and wary.
;)Pia
- Log in to post comments
Hi seashore, I thought this
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi seashore,
I thought this was a very clever little poem.
Jenny.
- Log in to post comments
A nice succinct piece, I
A nice succinct piece, I like the first part more than the second, it seemed to encapsulate so much in so few words, but I enjoyed all of those very short verses.
- Log in to post comments
a charming little poem, made
a charming little poem, made me smile.... nice play with words and clever too!
- Log in to post comments
This seems so simple but is
This seems so simple but is actually very cleverly done, and I love those short little 2/3 line stanzas. Well done seashore. :-)
- Log in to post comments
Liked the word play on weary
Permalink Submitted by hilary west on
Liked the word play on weary and wary. Nice one !
- Log in to post comments
Seashore.
Seashore.
"...pronunciations (and hearing aids)..."
When I read this part I was reminded of a couple down on the beach arguing in silence.
Both signing.
Fast flying fingers expressing their points of view.
I saw them later sharing icecream, issue resolved, time for bed, I think.
ScoZen
- Log in to post comments
you've painted a stunning
Permalink Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
you've painted a stunning scene with the perfect amount of words, you're a very skilled poet.
- Log in to post comments
"more than what he asked"
"more than what
he asked"
is this the crux of it? I thought it very clever. And getting in a joke too. Raindrop perfect
- Log in to post comments