You Know How It Is...

By Silver Spun Sand
Fri, 06 May 2011
- 4921 reads
21 comments
You hear a fragment
of a tune; there were
gulls, and green lights,
and pink, plastic sandals...
a cafe on the beach –
a candle that flickered,
so died in the breeze...
a glance you shared...
her footprints on washed,
wet sand, and a time
her barefoot toes brushed
yours, making stars collide.
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Comments
I love this poem Tina,
I love this poem Tina, unlike me you are not afraid to write shorter poems - this is wonderful. :-)
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Amazing how music can set
Amazing how music can set the memory alight Tina.A very atmospheric poem. I enjoyed it.
;)Pia
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i especially enjoyed the
i especially enjoyed the first two stanzas. I think you could tidy it up a little yet, and the last one - i'm not sure about personally.
tis your poem tho, and please only take my suggestions if they suit your style...
thanks
maisie Guess what? I'm still alive!
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I think the use of the duel
I think the use of the duel ... Isn't needed since the ideas sorta flow into one another. Makes it easier to trip up and feels rather overdramatic which your writing usually isnt
I really enjoyed the piece. Simple and powerful and captures this emotion in a way that doesn't feel sappy. I psrticularly enjoyed the last few lines.
Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...
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I'm a sucker for short poems
I'm a sucker for short poems that say a lot and this does. Love the last stanza especially.
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Loved this. And I think the
Loved this. And I think the last stanza where stars collide is brilliant. Got me right where you aimed.
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Another stunning piece from
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Another stunning piece from the terrific Tina - last lines got me right where they got oldpesky!
Just beautiful, as always, and thoroughly enjoyed :)
Rachel xx
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Isn't it wonderful, how a
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Isn't it wonderful, how a piece of music can conjure
up so many memories.
Thankyou Tina for sharing your memories with us the
reader.
I would love to know what piece of music, helped you
to write such a beautiful poem.
Jenny.
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Loved this one - a delight !
Permalink Submitted by hilary west on
Loved this one - a delight !
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"and a time her barefoot
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
"and a time
her barefoot toes brushed
yours, making stars collide."
- Such a wonderful ending, Tina! The lines really do explode off the page. Very well done on the cherry :)
Magic xxx
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