Cumulus

Wonderful poem, well done!

It's a lovely, thought provoking poem, Jessica. Personally I find it extremely difficult to write a short piece like this of any worth, but in a small space with a few dozen words you manage to say so much! It's deeply descriptive and very ambiguous, and I really like that. I often have people asking me what I meant by such and such a thing, and sometimes I'm not at all sure. They seem to forget that favourite poems, stuff you've read many times over your lifetime, often give you new insights and suggests things you're pretty sure they never communicated before, depending on your mood. I'm in the process of trawling through some old poetry, tarting it up and posting it on here. On occasion I've come across phrases and sentences I've entirely forgotten the original meaning of, but sometimes I leave them more or less as they stand because they seem to belong. At other times, when they're totally mystifying, I leave them to one side, and a couple of them have been the starting point for new pieces.

I don't understand it. You are the clouds and then he is the ivy and you're the prisoner... did the tag originally say domestic abuse? I might have imagined that. How does the Polaris get involved? Are the scarecrows targets... why so cryptic? Walrus seems to understand: "I often have people asking me what I meant by such and such a thing, and sometimes I'm not at all sure." I guess they stop asking or hoping for answers or well framed questions in his poetry... I like to know at least what the question is.

I liked it Jess. I didn't understand all of it, but heh, I still liked it.

Stick to your guns, girl, and go get 'em! (for some reason that's filled my head with a picture of me encouraging a well armed Labrador to commit casual atrocities, but that's ambiguity for you). Before I forget (I have unfinished thoughts to trawl through later), last night I discovered an American poet on here whose work I haven't come across before - his name is Reagan Wiles, please, please, PLEASE check him out. Reagan's writing, in my humble opinion, is very powerful indeed, and his vocabulary and use of language is particularly striking. I've encouraged him to comment on other folks' work because he's not attracting much attention and his pieces have only a handful of comments. Anyway, his stuff is on occasion ambiguous, mysterious and very thought provoking indeed. He's posted a poem I particularly enjoyed called 'Mystic Autistic,' and some of his other stuff (I've only read a bit of it) is so cryptic I have no idea what he's writing about, but I admire his style and content nevertheless, just as I admire yours, or I really wouldn't bother commenting..... The other thing I wanted to say is that you must always write primarily for yourself, whether you savour the process of writing for your own amusement or elucidation, for relaxation or therapy or for spiritual cleansing or whatever, it doesn't matter. If other people enjoy your work, fine - that's the cherry on the cake - and if they don't, tough titty. Trying to produce stuff that as many people as possible will dribble uncontrollably over will leave you with little inner satisfaction, which is what this game is all about, surely, even if you happen to make money from it. Some of my work is very graphic, filthy in parts, I guess some people think, but so be it, I'm raw and earthy but basically honest and wholesome, and I wouldn't want to be anyone else. Particularly Danielle Steele, but that's a different story.

I wasn't asking you to change your poem but you posted this in the forum asking for a response! I was asking why it was so cryptic? I was trying to piece together the logic as any reader would. The images are intriguing and create a mood. I was confused by the You and the He... they both seem complicit in the abuse, the you because she doesn't stand up to the male.

This is very good, JessicaA. I like the symbolism of overview - from clinging to trapped then escaping. Richard LP PS, don't change a word.