Novel solutions on gun control

Hey just because I'm a whacko with bad hair doesn't mean I'm gonna go postal. I don't mind my hair although it seems to enrage people around me. I'm much more likely to be a victim then a shooter. 

A shooter enters a shooting gallery. He takes a quick sweep of the innocent people in front of him. He's running out of time. He's got to start somehwere. He sees me with my infuriating hair and immediately comes to the conclusion that I am indeed a whacko who needs to be whacked.

Of course, this is not to suggest that the victims in Buffalo or Uvalde had weird hair although it's likely that whomever left that door open had bad hair as do almost all of the scapegoats throughout history. To this day, we don't know whether or not Lee Harvey Oswald was a scapegoat or an assassin but judging by the badness of his hair, it's easy to come to the conclusion that he was an assassin. Especially since the guy he shot had such great hair up until...

The Texas Tower guy who started all of this had at the time what we might have considered to be good hair but over the years and with changing styles, we would now describe his flat top as bad hair and he would be a suspect in any unsolved murder.

Just because of his godamned hair.

Son of Sam had horrible hair as did Chapman whose bad hair was emphasized in the presence of the guy he shot whose hair had been admired and copied for decades.

A lot of guys with bad hair work for the post office. You should see my mail carrier. He's a good guy once you get to know him and get past his infuriating haircut.

Let's face it, women have better looking hair than men. How many of them do you see committing mass murders. On the flip side, if you look at the victims of Bundy, they all had beautiful hair as did the Nurses of Speck. Speck by the way had horrible hair.

There are exceptions of course. John Wilkes Booth had great hair as I'm told did Brutus and Marc Antony but not Cassio with his sleek head.

We don't know for sure the badness of the hair of Billy the Kid or Jessie James or Sundance Kid but Kristofferson, Pitt and Redford had great hair when they portrayed them.

I personally don't have a gun and never will.

If my hair becomes a problem, I can just shave it off which I can't do to a gun wound or to the memory of all those innocent children and civilian who have lost their life to psychopaths may of them raised by parents with perfectly good hair.

It's just so hard to understand the mentally but I guess it's coming from a standpoint of fear and insecurity and that's a hard one to crack.

anythiing that comes out of the lips of the moron's moron Trump is obviously a bad idea. Guns are a billion dolloar industry hiding in plain sight under the Second Amendment. I felt sorry for the shooter's mum, poor woman. 

A great way of showing how ridiculous it is to expect people of many other professions to also be proficient in and trained in the use of semi automatic or assault weapons, just in case the worst happens and a crazy young man decides to use his current right to use weapons which were never even envisioned by the founding fathers when they wrote the American constitution! Although there may be a place for some security guards in some settings to have them, it would be so much better if the more dangerous guns, at least were just restricted to people who could at least be trusted not to misuse them.

Trump and Cruz and other gun lobby Republicans (largely) are sounding quite ridiculous. I don't think anyone should vote for them until they come up with sensible gun policies which protect the people and the kids.

Sometimes the only response to the ridiculous is ridicule. It's so very, very sad - what seems to be a deadly combination of mythology and big business defying reason and, I gather, the will of the majority to ban assault rifles and have greater background checks. The shooter was just a kid himself - a tragedy all round.

On a totally different note, you've directly quoted the Beatles' lyric, and although I know it's a complete pain in the behind, could you take out the direct quote and just make a reference to it somehow. Under copyright law the only bit of a song you can legally quote is the title (unless you have permission), and the proportionality thing whereby you can quote a certain amount of a book or article etc doesn't apply to lyrics because they're so short and the proportions are all out of whack. As I say, I know it's a complete pain, but them's the rules (unfortunately!). 

We've just had a very interesting chat (amongst the editors) on what you could get away with here, joseph, as an opening line, without leaving us (as a foundation charity without the funds to be taken to court) and we have arrived at the following:

'I read the news today, oh boy! Specifically, I was intrigued by the proposed notion of arming teachers in our schools, to prevent future murderous assaults. I think we have to follow the logic of this enlightened proposal all of the way through to tests its efficacy.'

Leave out all mention of the band. Everyone will still know what you're referencing and no-one will be sued. Win win! Obviously it's your work and you can put whatever you want, but please don't use any reference to the band, either by nickname or actual name. Thank you!

Thank you Joseph - the companies that own the rights to these things are very quick to fire off letters, so we're very grateful to our writers for avoiding the possibility of us losing money