Novel solutions on gun control
I read the news today! Specifically, I was intrigued by the proposed notion of arming teachers in our schools, to prevent future murderous assaults. I think we have to follow the logic of this enlightened proposal all of the way through to tests its efficacy.
Hmm, let’s see. That would mean we should arm all Catholic nuns with forty-five caliber automatics, in a shoulder holsters. That would prevent church attacks. And then, we should consider arming all saxophone players with machine guns to prevent parade assaults.
Then, we could insist that all sports teams have a designated hitter who carries a flame thrower. That would short circuit attacks in those venues. And of course, in sports stadiums, we could arrange to have racks of sub machine guns, located in every section, for quick use in defense by any anxious fans who feel threatened.
Air terminals are easy. The janitors could conceal high velocity sniper rifles in their dustbins, in case some whacko decided to blow up a bomb in an airport. Conductors on trains could pack holstered pistols like the nuns for ready use. Arming nurses in hospitals is even easier. Stilettos and ice picks would be their main line of defense.
Did I forget anything? Oh, yes. Referees, at all sporting events, could wear bandoleers of ammo and carry a B.A.R for use in suppressing potential trouble makers. And, of course, life guards at beaches and pools could hide an M-16 in their towers for use if necessary.
Or, we could return from the “la la land” of fantasy and deal with the very real problem of assault weapons readily available for any whacko who wants to buy and use one to murder people.
There is no need or intent to abridge any citizen’s second amendment right to bear arms. But, there is a greater need for our society to protect us from the senseless violence of whackos who have a bad hair day and decide to start murdering people because it is fun and will get their name in the paper. Many people in America are deer and fowl hunters, with shotguns and hunting rifles in their homes. Many small business owners file for a pistol permit, to carry for protection of themselves in their shops. None of these people feels the need for an assault rifle. All of them support the second amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
Until politicians stop fear mongering and finger pointing, none of our children or families will be safe on our streets. And that is one sorry state of affairs in any one’s reckoning.
Joseph Xavier Martin