The Home

Gold cherry

By monodemo

Wed, 07 Feb 2024
  • 785 reads
19 comments
 

Teardrops form like rain from her eyes,

‘Where are they?’ she aches, as she cries,

She sits in wait of their return,

‘Why am I here?’ she says with concern,

With her coat and frame at the ready,

The legs beneath her shaking, unsteady,

‘Come to your room, Mrs Logan!’ they urge,

A cascade of teardrops fall and emerge,

Her poor eyes, sore from crying,

Inside she is slowly dying,

Unable to understand why,

They left her there, and said goodbye,

To go from her house, her own sanctuary,

To a small room, bare, eerie,

Her mind a circus in a fishbowl,

Just wanting her kids to touch, console,

Her precious heart from all this madness,

Of leaving her there, full of sadness,

She understood she had done a good job,

Raising twelve kids, yet her heart still throbs,

For one to come and rescue her,

Take her away, her head all a blur,

She wants her chair, her bed, her house,

‘Come and I promise to live quietly like a mouse!’,

‘Come, save me please!’ she whispers to God,

She pulled and she thrashed, stopped and then sobbed,

This isn’t the course her life should go,

She kicked and screamed, ‘no, no, no!’,

 

In the end they called her daughter,

Going like a lamb for slaughter,

Settling her until she slept,

Sitting in the carpark, she just wept,

‘What have we done?’ she asked herself,

Four years caring, a drain in itself,

For its been four years since her brother died,

Her mothers memory since, locked deep inside,

Confusion she saw as she went to sleep,

Then out the room she slowly creeped,

Inconsolable, she waited, crying,

The twelve, now eleven, hearts slowly dying ,

 

Would you ever put your mother in a home?

Ripping her from comfort, afraid, alone?

I firmly think it takes a strong person,

To pack up belongings, and make the insertion!

 

Mam did that over the weekend,

Nanny now in a home ‘til the end!

Certificate U
Poem
2024
Rant
Unclassified
Other Non-fiction
Drama
Miscellaneous
Love
Journal

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

phew, it's a toughie. No right or wrong answers. My mum went into a home. I think it was the right thing. But I was glad when she died. 

 

Submitted by monodemo on

im sorry to hear that celticman. its a toughie alright. nearly an impossible decision. unfortunately, due to funds, we had no other choice. plus she has dementia which is worsening by the second, poor thing. its hard to watch, but i really do think its for the best for the family. she's going well too. she'll be 94 in march! an amazing age altogether. shes still her in body, but not in mind if that makes sense? we lost her a few years ago unfortunately.

mono

Submitted by monodemo on

thank you abc tales for the lovely shiny cherry. i know i havnt posted anything in a while and to get the cherry for the first piece in ages is just amazing!! thanks again

mono

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I'm so sorry you're going through this mono, it's always such a tough thing to do. I've seen your earlier pieces of writing about how you worked so hard as a family to share looking after her at home. You have all done so much for her and you should be very proud of yourselves. Hope to see more from you soon - well deserved cherries!

 

Submitted by monodemo on

thank you insert. we really did do everything to keep her at home. thanks for the comment. i really appreciate it!

mono

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

What a difficult situation. You can only do what is humanly possible and thankfully there are suitable facilities for people who need more intense and complex care than loved ones can themselves provide. What a lovely photograph of her. She is very lucky to have family who care so much.

 

Submitted by monodemo on

thanks jane.  it was so moving to write and reading back over it i cried my eyes out. thank you for saying you like the picture. for an almost 94 year old woman she is amazing. i chose that picture because she looked like she used to before the dementia hit. she looks so happy in it. thats how i will always remember her....smiling!

mono

Submitted by Kris on

Touched me in many ways in a soul moving read.mail.. written by writer that move souls. (well done)yes

 

Submitted by D G Moody on

A deeply felt poem; and if it's possible to say what I liked, it was how you told the story from both sides, which further emphasised the heartbreak. I have been fortunate, in that all my family have died while I lived in the UK and they in Australia, so I never had to go through what your poem conveys; thank you for sharing this.

Dougie Moody

Submitted by monodemo on

thanks dougie! i really appreciate your input. it was a very moving experience writing that poem. it really tugged on my heartstrings!

mono

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Hopefully she will gradually settle and find the surroundings and people interesting, and her memories of before becoming more hazy, she will become content and happy though maybe still feeling confused. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by monodemo on

thanks Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Monodemo's heart wrenching poem is Pick of the Day. Please do share if you can

 

Submitted by monodemo on

thank you so much for the golden cherries. i really appreciate them. i feel honoured and shocked that a poem which is so dear to my heart got them! im so moved and cant thank abctales enough!

mono

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Congratulations from me too Mono - very well deserved golden cherries!

 

Submitted by monodemo on

thank you sooooo much insert. it means so much to me to get the golden cherries! im really moved! as im writing this a teardrop is falling down my cheek. you have no idea how appreciative and honoured to win the golden cherries today! especially since its from a piece that tugs on my heartstrings! im honoured abctales picked me today! really its such an honour!

mono

Submitted by airyfairy on

Congratulations on the golden cherries. This really is a wonderful poem. I worked in Adult Services for a while, and saw families going through this dilemma. There are no easy answers and you're right, it does take courage to make that decision for someone else, knowing that they don't appreciate it's in their best interests. We were just approaching that point with my father when he died, and he was so dead against going into a home I know it would have been a terrible struggle. I hope your Nanny will settle and your Mam will take comfort knowing it is for the best and is done with love.

Submitted by Turlough on

Her mind a circus in a fishbowl

That's a brilliant line.

Every time, the whole situation is one of mental torture for the poor elderly person and for the family but struggling on without the care home is even harder.

I hope your Nanny settles in and finds peace there. 

Turlough

Submitted by seashore on

None of us want to do this, or have this choice made for us, but so often sadly it isn't a choice.

A very moving piece.