Semper Augustus



By Jane Hyphen
- 968 reads
‘During this time of year my flower farm mainly produces tulips for prestigious florists and flower markets.’ Ms Bluett walked slowly along the field, clutching her clipboard. She knew all about growing flowers, she’d set up the farm sixteen years ago and it had gone from strength to strength.
‘It looks so beautiful,’ said Jade. She’d always wanted to work on the flower farm, ever since she was a little girl and her father used to drive past it on their way to her violin lessons. With Graceland playing on the stereo and the tulip flower heads swaying in the breeze, her father’s huge hands on the steering wheel, the memory was etched forever into her consciousness.
There had been a lot of competition for the role despite paying minimum wage and working in all weathers. She’d agreed to work the first few weeks as a volunteer to see if she could cope with the physical demands; bending over all day, crouching down, carrying heavy flower buckets and walking several miles.
The tulips did indeed look beautiful, colours like jewels up and down the rows, their petals shone pearlescent in the dawn sunshine. ‘It gets awfully hot in the field later, there is very little shelter. You’ll be weeding after the picking is over, nettles and thistles begin germinating between the flowers at this time of year. Did you bring a floppy hat?’
‘No,’ said Jade, feeling silly.
‘Oh but you brought the gloves I gave you at your induction didn’t you?’
‘Yes,’ Jade lied.
‘Good. Here is a list of the varieties we’ll need picking today,’ Ms Bluett handed her a long list, ‘you must observe each bloom, check it carefully, it should be open but firm, if the petals give way in your hand then it’s too late, it’s already going over, if the bud is still closed then leave it. Strip off all the lower leaves and place them in a separate bucket, leaving only the top leaf and a tidy stem.’
‘I didn’t bring my secateurs, sorry. I’m not really used to getting up so early. I..I will get used to it but I wasn’t very organised this morning.’
‘You don’t need secateurs for picking tulips my dear, you simply hold the stem firmly at the base and pull. You’ll hear a little crack as it comes away from the bulb, some pull off easier than others,’ she gave Jade a strange look, ‘some will fight you. Occasionally the bulb will come out of the earth. If this happens put it aside and label it with the variety. Don’t overcrowd the buckets now will you. I need everything on the list picked and in fresh water by half past nine.’
‘Okay, thank you.’ Jade didn’t really know why she was saying thank you since she was working for free but she felt she ought to show gratitude for being selected for the job.
The list was confusing, the rows of tulips were long, crowded, psychedelic and completely overwhelming, they didn’t appear to be in any logical order. Their little labels tucked in between the varieties, Negrita Parrot, Sugar Crystal, Apricot Foxx, Ballerina, Attila, Fly Away, Purple Prince, Estella, Silk Road, even the names were fascinating.
The sound of the birds singing in the trees surrounding the flower field was loud and finely tuned enough to be intrusive as Jade tried to concentrate, searching up and down the rows, bending to read the labels so that she could start picking. She laid out a few buckets then realised she would have to walk all the way to the top of the field to fetch water from the tap so that their stems could be submerged without delay as instructed by Ms Bluett.
Her stomach rumbled. She wasn’t used to doing a physical job and all the walking around during her briefing with Ms Bluett had tired her legs and burned up all the energy she’d stored from the small breakfast she’d consumed.
It was a windless morning. The tulips stood all around, bolt upright, staring at her in their obnoxious silken gowns. It was intimidating. Perhaps it was the fact that this was their time, after all they only got the chance to perform in the opening scene of the warmer season. Their performance was sufficiently intense to compensate for their absence in the remaining eleven months of the year. To want more would be gluttonous.
She recognised Ballerina, it was one of the ones she’d grown at home. After checking the label she bent down and pulled up her first tulip. It was easier than she thought, snapping cleanly at the base, a perfect pick. Stripping off the leaves was a little more tricky, it left a scruffy green collar which she then had to pick off, the fleshy green stuff sticking down the back of her fingernails.
Forty minutes had passed and she still hadn’t completed Ballerina. The backs of her legs were aching from the bending. She began to feel stressed and her breathing became erratic. This is ridiculous, she thought, I’m only picking flowers, surely this is the best job in the world.
Next on her list was Mariette, she upped the pace a bit, worried about being the most hopeless of new employees Ms Bluett had ever had but she soon realised that this is not a job you can rush. The stems bruise and break in the wrong place, the petals get crushed, the result is scrappy unsellable blooms.
She moved on to Carnival de Nice, huge frilly blooms in bold red and white. It was impossible not to pause and admire them and in doing so time seemed to fly at an unearthly rate. ‘I’m so behind’, Jade whispered to herself, ‘you tulips need to help me out here.’ The next variety to pick was called Dream Club and it took her several panicked minutes to locate them in the field.
Jade had never seen multi-headed tulips before but there they were, strong stems with four or five flowers on each, the leaves were trickier to strip off since they were in odd places all along the stem. Also the stems were especially strong and resistant to being pulled. One stem in particular was determined to stay in the ground. It was an exceptionally tall and beautiful specimen with several blooms in shades of lilac and vanilla.
She leaned over the other stems, taking care not to damage any of the ones which were still in the budding stage to pick for later. It didn’t seem to matter how hard she pulled on this tulip stem, it didn’t budge. I think I’ll leave that one and maybe come back to it, she thought. But it got into her head like a song, it played upon her mind, being so strong and beautiful, it seemed wrong not to include it in her pick, to deprive somebody of having it in their vase.
After moving onto Mevron, Jade couldn’t stop thinking about the stubborn Dream Club stem and how Ms Bluett might question why she didn’t pick it so she returned and tried one more time, clutching its base firmly with both hands. The blooms were right in her face now and they had an unusual scent, sort of spicy but deeply intoxicating. She wanted more of this aroma and pushed her nose right into a cluster of blooms and took a deep breath.
Something changed. The earth seemed to shift beneath her feet and she felt the stem pulling back on her. The words of Ms Bluett played back in her head, ‘some will fight you.’ Was this what she had meant? She tugged back with all her strength on the stem but it was no good, the tulip was too strong and it pulled her head into the soil, followed by the rest of her body and Jade disappeared for good like an earthworm under the surface of the flower field.
The birds carried on chirping, the tulip flowers stood silently, ostentatious in the still air of the morning, the flower buckets stood brimming with colour between the rows.
Jade had the sensation of being shifted from one world to another, rather like being born. It took her a few seconds to take in her new surroundings. There were still tulips all around her but they were tall, taller than she was and their showy heads towered over on her as she walked between the thick forest of green stalks.
There didn’t appear to be a way through. In every direction there were only hundreds of evenly spaced stems, in places they were growing too close for Jade to pass between and she had to part them with her hands but they emitted an alarming screaming sound as she did so. And their huge heads high above in every colour combination imaginable, some plain colours, some broken with flames and feathers in contrasting shades.
‘I need to get back to the flower field,’ said Jade, ‘Ms Bluett is waiting for the pick.’
Her comment was met with a rising wave of laughter from the surrounding tulip heads. ‘Do you think it’s fair,’ said one, ‘to be cut off in your prime?’
‘I..I don’t know,’ said Jade under her breath. All her strength had left her body now. It was too bizarre to comprehend but at the same time, their sentiment was difficult to argue with. That was exactly what she’d been doing, cutting them off in their prime.
‘I want to get out of here I think,’ she said, collapsing now into a kneeling position beneath a cluster of Angelique blooms, ‘I feel so tired.’
‘You’ll have to go and see Semper Augustus,’ they said in unison.
‘Semper Augustus, what is that?’
‘He’s our god, the original one. The one who opened the way for all of us.’
Suddenly some of the stems began to twitch and move to the side, each one producing a slight cricking sound as they did so until a clear pathway opened up. ‘Go and see Semper Augustus,’ the tulips all chimed up, their voices sinister and impossible to ignore.
Jade got up, her legs were so weak from her work in the field but she did what the tulips told her. She followed the path, through the forest of stems because she didn’t really see any alternative except for sitting and waiting for something to happen, to wake up, something worse perhaps?
At the end of the path was a clearing in the tulip stems and an old grotto, a roughly built construction of large rocks and flints; it looked unstable and had collapsed in places but there was an entrance, a dark hole. Jade hesitated. She heard a voice, a male voice from one of the very dark, almost black tulips growing near the grotto. ‘Go in, Jade, it’s dangerous to linger there, you yourself will wilt if you create such an atmosphere of trepidation.’
It was cold inside the grotto. There was nothing there in the darkness except a few crystals in the walls and a huge ugly vase, an old fashioned Dutch vase, especially designed for holding tulips with various tubes poking out in all directions. At the top was an enormous bloom boldly striped in red and white. ‘I am Semper Augustus and I am extinct,’ it boomed so that the sound echoed from the walls of the grotto.
Jade gasped and tried to appear calm and friendly. ‘I’m Jade,’ she said quietly.
‘You’ve come to seek permission to pick, haven't you?’
‘Have I?’ said Jade before quickly diffusing the tension by nodding and saying, ‘Yes, yes, I have. I would never pick tulips without gaining permission first.’
‘You must show respect, you must not waste our flowers, shorter stems unsuitable for floristry must be saved and displayed elsewhere. We must always have centre-stage in springtime, that’s our time, the other flowers are only there to make us look better, bolder, brighter…’
Semper Augustus continued to list his criteria for picking tulips with Jade nodding in agreement, not daring to question him for fear of what the consequences might be. She noticed a faint aroma on his breath, it was the exact same scent that she had inhaled earlier on the Dream Club tulip.
The meeting came to an end and she hoped that something would happen, perhaps she would simply wake up? She walked out of the grotto and immediately the temperature changed, the sun was shining warmly, the birds were singing and to her surprise the giant tulip stems were gone and she was tall again. Beneath her the regular sized tulips all stood brightly in their rows. She was back in the flower field, clutching her list.
The next variety for picking was called Nightmare. Just as she bent down to pick the first one, she heard footsteps approaching. It was Ms Bluett holding a tray of coffee and biscuits. ‘I’ve brought you some refreshments. How are you getting on?’
‘Oh fine,’ Jade said breathlessly, trying to pretend everything was normal. ‘I’m a bit behind actually but I’m doing my best.’
Ms Bluett gave her a questioning look and paused, then said, ‘I see you’ve had your initiation ceremony?’
Jade nodded silently. ‘I…think so. Something happened but I’m not really sure what it was..’
‘Don’t worry my dear,’ Ms Bluett laid her hand on Jade’s shoulder, ‘things will get easier for you.’
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Comments
Who knew there was such an
Who knew there was such an intricate etiquette to picking flowers?
I really like the way the story turns upside down then rights itself again with an underlying message. Respect.
Lots of craft, guile and skill in this tale, of course.
Another great story from you, Jane.
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Wow! Brilliant story! Perfect
Wow! Brilliant story! Perfect descriptions of tulips, and seems so real being a picker. And the magic woven through. Loved this
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This ingeniously conceived
This ingeniously conceived and told tale of tulip picking is, appropriately, today's Facebook, X/Twitter and BlueSky Pick of the Day.
I've added a pic to promote your work on social media. Please let me know if you prefer to use something else.
Congratulations.
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Wonderful - a real tale of
Wonderful - a real tale of the unexpected, beautifully recounted and with fabulous tulips (which never grow in my garden). Well deserved golden cherries!
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I might give them one last go
I might give them one last go with your recommendation, thanks Jane. I don't think it's squirrels as I only have one as an intermittent visitor, and almost everything else is very happy in my garden. I've found some things just don't work in some places so that's my working theory!
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The gods of tulips have been
The gods of tulips have been busy. I wonder if there's an orange one.
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Jane,
Jane,
I loved the message in your story about respect for the tulips...as with all flowers and nature. I agree it's all about intention and feelings for plants. I don't do gardening these days, but when I did it was with care and attention.
I enjoyed and read with great interest.
Thank you for sharing.
Jenny.
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Congratulations! This is
Congratulations! This is Story of the Week!
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