The Crinkler

 

‘Did you hear that?’

 

Bryce and Lora lay on their backs in the darkness of their bedroom, for unknown reasons their eyes were wide open as they engaged their ears, listening carefully for the return of the sound.

 

‘I can’t hear it, Lora. Maybe it’s your ears, tinnitus or whatever. Go back to sleep now. I’ve got to get up early, I’ve got a drop off in Stevenage tomorrow, it’s going to be a long day.’ 

 

Bryce turned over, wriggling slightly as he settled into a fresh position in the bed. He made a groaning sound simply because his mattress was so comfortable as he was so looking forward to falling asleep, perhaps having an uplifting dream. Something from the bank of non-occurrences, the fruits of his restraint, the things prohibited by married life; a motorbike ride, a day of fishing, some private time with Natalie from next door but one.

 

‘Shshsh! Stop being so noisy. I’m trying to listen.’

 

Bryce half sat up in bed, his torso and neck hovering in dismay. ‘I didn’t make any noise,’ he said before letting his head fall back on the pillow, the weight of his imminent dream about Natalie proving too heavy to hold for more than a few seconds.

 

‘You’re just so…bombastic with your movements and breathing. That's literally all I can hear.’

 

Lora listened to her own breathing for a few seconds just to check her own physiology but she heard nothing. She wondered how she could manage to remain absolutely silent in their shared space while her husband sounded like an old engine spluttering as it turned over. This was exactly why she wanted separate bedrooms but every time she tried to have the conversation, Bryce dismissed it. Somehow he viewed it as a failure in their marriage.

 

She was beginning to feel sleepy when she heard it again, a sort of crinkling sound from somewhere in the upstairs of the house. It was rather like somebody shaking one of those silver blankets they drape over runners after a marathon to keep them warm. Lora remained quiet as she continued to listen, knowing instinctively that she would hear it again, and before long she did, just the same as before.

 

‘I wonder if we’ve got mice, Bryce.’

 

‘What?’

 

‘We might have mice, Bryce.’

 

‘I don’t think so. This is a modern house, and we don’t leave food out..and we’ve got a cat.’

 

‘I can’t think what else would make that noise. It could be a massive spider I suppose.’

 

Bryce shot up into a sitting position. He was very scared of spiders. ‘Where?’

 

‘Not here. It’s in another room, the crinkling sound, it might even be in the wall.’

 

Bryce was wide awake now, the doors to be the bank of non-occurrences firmly shut. ‘I can’t hear anything,’ he said and then took a very long, deep breath.

 

‘Okay, shut up, I mean completely shut up, no loud breathing or sighing and just listen carefully in complete silence for thirty seconds or until we hear it again.’

 

He held his breath, froze, stiffening all his joints, cocking his head. Then he heard it, the same crinkling sound that his wife had been hearing. ‘Oh yes,’ he said breathlessly, ‘yes, I heard it, Lora. I think I heard The Crinkler.’

 

‘The Crinkler?’

 

‘Yes, the thing you’ve been hearing for the last week or month or however long it’s been. Well, I’ve heard it now, you’re not going mad, we’ve both heard it. Now go back to sleep.’

 

‘But what do you think it is?’

 

‘Well dear, it’s The Crinkler.’

 

‘What? Why have you given it this special name? It’s a crinkling sound that we need to get to the bottom of. Giving it a title doesn’t solve anything.’ Lara yawned and threw the duvet down off the upper half of her body. ‘I’m too hot now. This always happens, if I hear the crinkling sound more than once, I just get really hot and my legs get restless and I can’t sleep.’

 

Bryce chuckled. ‘That’s the influence of The Crinkler…or it could just be your age dear.’

 

Lora whacked him in the chest with the back of her hand. She tried and tried to go back to sleep. Bryce began to snore as he rode his motorbike along the sea road in Brighton with Natalie on the back, clutching his waist which was several inches slimmer in the dream.

 

The crinkling sound occurred again, intermittently or did it? Perhaps it was something else she could hear or the inside of her head or even a mix of all these sounds. Even so, she eventually found a flat dreamless sleep which refreshed her somewhat, although there was a slight drag in the day that followed. 

 

The Crinkler returned, not every night but with frequent regularity. It turned out he was a shameless sleep thief. He stole sleep from the people who really needed it, gift wrapping it quickly since stolen sleep loses its potency very rapidly unless it is covered up with special paper. Then he sold it back to lazy people who wanted to sleep in, who traded it for light in the form of the pure fresh sun rays which are only issued at sunrise.

 

All this extra light made The Crinkler extremely bright. In fact he was so bright that he could calculate the distance of every single star from the surface of the earth simply by peering through the hole in a Party Ring and measuring the exact radius of his squinting eye. 

 

None of it really mattered, the other monsters of the night were not interested in science or mathematics. Slender Man being preoccupied with quieting his ever rumbling stomach, Mare perfecting the art of straddling, to hold folk down, trapping them inside their bad dreams and The Bogeyman practising how to hide in children’s bedrooms.

 

The persistent presence of The Crinkler combined with a few other factors such as, Bryce and Lora’s road becoming a rat run (thanks to Sat Nav technology), the desire for a larger garden, their house being a tad large now that the children had left, provoked a move out of town to a small village.

 

The couple were so excited, their new cottage was like something from a fairytale. Bryce would miss seeing Natalie run by in her gym wear but there was a spare room for their hobbies, a long garden with a sprawling mulberry tree in the centre. The road outside was so quiet. It was perfect and they felt like newlyweds again, making plans for their new lives with a bit of cash to spare for home improvements.

 

Lora was sleeping better than she had done in years and she had so much energy. They spoke of getting a dog from the local rescue centre, something Bryce had always wanted, something small he could take to work. On long days when he had to drive to Stevenage, Lora could walk it now that she had so much energy.

 

It was about five months in and on a still summer night that she heard a familiar sound. A little light crinkle at first, she sat up and listened, her eyes wide, her nostrils flaring, her mouth agape as if channeling the sound into every orifice of her body. No, it can’t be, she thought but she heard it again, a prolonged and audacious crinkling sound.

 

‘Did you hear that, Bryce?’

 

Her husband was dead to the world snoring, he was riding his motorcycle along the country lanes, flanked by hedgerows of willowherb, borage and campion. She whacked him on the thigh. ‘What the….’

 

‘It’s here,’ she whispered, her hushed words desperate in tone, her body shaking slightly.

 

‘What? What’s here?’

 

‘The Crinkler. I just heard it…twice! Now I’m starting to feel hot again. I’m sweating.’

 

‘It’s a hot night, Lora. Go back to sleep.’

 

‘No! Listen…’

 

They both froze and listened. The cottage had its own sounds, the odd creak and the rustle of the small creatures who inhabited the lush gardens around. But then they both heard it, the unmistakable crinkling sound then some silence followed by another round of crinkling, different in length and volume and so it went on.

 

Bryce chuckled. ‘He’s followed us hasn’t he?’

 

‘He?’

 

‘Yes. The Crinkler, he’s followed us. I wonder if he came in the lorry or found his own way here..’

 

‘Bryce! This is serious.’

 

‘He must be very fond of you dear.’

 

‘We need to get the priest in.’

 

‘The priest! What’s he going to do? The Crinkler isn’t an evil thing…it’s just a thing and you’ll have to learn to live with it, that’s all.’

 

Lora stared up at the moonlight on the ceiling. She wondered if ear plugs might help or whether she should just follow her husband’s example and just find a way to accept the presence of The Crinkler. To lie awake while he shamelessly steals her sleep and simply enjoy the act of resting even without the accompanying unconsciousness. It wouldn’t be quite as restorative a proper sleep but nevertheless there were no demands on her and she was in a safe place.

 

Her physical body relaxed into the bed, the creatures of the night rustled outside, Bryce snored, The Crinkler crinkled. All was well in the world.