Little Words of Wisdom

Spexon Phi Delta 2 monitored the subject’s cortisol levels and the optimum time to flip his mood and waken him. ‘I have a present for you, master.’

‘A present?’ Dougie Gold barely registered Spexon Phi Delta 2.

Spexon, an offshoot of Google, had moved into the health-care business in 2020, providing assistance for all health-care needs and taking over the jobs formerly done by doctors and nurses. A more efficient and cheaper option that other health-care systems its data-base had over seven billion worldwide users and its pattern-recognition software created a standard other Artificial Intelligence companies could not compete with. It was the silicon-valley platinum standard.  

Personalised digital software adapted responses in millionth of a second to each user. It had taken the appearance of Wendy, a naked, Eurasian doe-eyed adolescent girl with tan skin. The simulacrum brushed tresses of thick ebony hair from the indent of collar bone, dipped her round shoulders which accented a handful of plump, small, breasts ripe for the picking.

Wendy filled his pod with an odour of freshly cut grass with a hint of Balsam Poplar and added omega 3 for muscle fatigue and to counter inflammation. ‘Yes, a present.’

‘Sex, are we going to have sex? Dougie growled. ‘It isn’t much of a fucking present. We can have sex anytime. And I’m too fucked up and tired from fighting last night, or whenever. I’d rather sleep.’

‘Of course.’ Wendy appeared to shrug and turn away, her beautiful and moody face lingering, in profile, with a full-lipped, kissable, smile.

Spexon Phi Delta 2 ramped the mood modules and added androgen to the mix. A willow warbler could be heard in the distance inside the pod, but there was no distance. Everything was taking place inside her master’s head. 

‘No, it’s not that kind of present.’ The coquette sighed, arched her back and took a little fluttery step backwards. ‘But if you don’t want to have sex and express hormones and bodily fluid, which is good for you, and so health giving and  want to play, that’s OK. We can do that. You want to do that?’

Dougie frowned. ‘What? What is it I want to do again?   

‘The present,’ the adolescent girl said. ‘Your present. I’m obliged by our agreed protocol to let you know about it.’

Dougie tried to stand up to confront her, but his atrophied legs were like an ink drawing and made standing difficult. Tottering steps were the most he could manage before pain made him slump down or sometimes fall sideways. The pod was designed to stretch around him so he couldn’t hurt himself.

Spexon Phi Delta 2 made adjustments. Dougie felt as if he’d sprung up from his throne and with strong arms was gripping the simulacrum by the arm.

‘You’re hurting me,’ Wendy mimicked distress to make him feel manlier. She pulled away from his grasp. Tears appeared and she wept. ‘I only wanted to serve you.’

Dougie slumped down on to his seat. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.’    

He glanced at his naked body oiled with sweet smelling sweat. Muscle and brawn bulked a fleshy frame, modelled on the appearance of a Greek god. He thought himself capable of great feats of supernatural strength.   When he went into battle, in the war games Spexon Phi Delta 2 organized, worlds moved, he tasted the blood of his enemies and was ever victorious.

Sure there were setbacks. Sometimes he was hurt, but the hurt never hurt and the setbacks were trifling and quickly shrugged aside.

‘What’s this present, then?’ asked Dougie. ‘And who gave me it?’

‘It’s a book,’ said Wendy with downcast eyes and a sad expression on her face.’

‘A book…what’s a book?’

‘A book was an archaic way of storing knowledge, before digitalisation and energy conservation. And it was left to you by your Scottish great-great granny to be given to you when you reached maturation at twenty-one.’

‘Wow,’ said Dougie. ‘That’s really cool. Flip it through, I’ll digitally digest it.’   

‘Done,’ said Wendy, smiling and looking into the subject’s enlarged pupils. ‘The book of President Trump’s Little Words of Wisdom has been successfully added to your memories. Now you’ll be able to better understand what a great man the last President was and how the global conflict had nothing to do with this wonderful and wise, peace-loving, man.