The thing about moths that nobody ever talks about
A moth headbutts itself to death against the light-bulb, flapping and banging noisily, madly, like Boris Johnson being given the keys to the Foreign Office. The lampshade, when I get round to cleaning it, will be full of dozens, maybe hundreds, of the moth's dead comrades, the lamp where moths come to die.
This we all know. This we all talk about. The irony that a creature that only comes out at night is so fatally drawn to the light.
But the other source of dead moths, this we never talk about.
Yet it seems that every time I take a late night pee a moth decides to take a late night swim in the toilet water, perhaps attracted by the golden glimmer of my pee, a waterfall of light no moth can resist.
When I was young I would deliberately aim my stream at them, 'You're the fucker that got my cardigan', but now I am older, kinder to moths, I aim wide, but to no avail, inevitably the moth follows my irresistible cascade and drowns in a stream of glittering piss.
Moths are thought to travel by transverse orientation. This means that they use the light of distant objects like the moon to navigate. Any artificial light confuses the moths and draws them continually towards it.
Thus does science explain away why moths are so fatally attracted to light bulbs.
But what about the fateful allure of my glittering piss - science is strangely silent.