Hairy Bob from Heckmondwike

Hairy Bob from Heckmondwike

Albert lived in Heckmondwike

A hilly old place to get around on a bike

From birth he’d identified as a Tyke

So spending his cash, he just didn’t like

He kept an old sheepdog called Bob in his shed

Suspecting its mother with a yak had crossbred

So hairy he couldn’t tell its arse from its head

Except when Bob opened his mouth to be fed

This ridiculous problem just had to be stopped

‘Ah’ll tek him to t’shearer to get all t’lot cropped’

So on the boneshaker the pair of them hopped

Bob sat on the crossbar and off they both popped

The shearer said ‘Aye, but it’ll cost thee some brass’

‘But ah’m not made o’ money’ Albert moaned ‘Ask ar lass!’

‘Could tha do it for less? Don’t need it first class’

The shearer agreed and grabbed Bob’s woolly mass

The job wasn’t easy, it was taking an age

After an hour of clipping he’d done just the first stage

Albert worried it would cost him at least a week’s wage

His bank book clutched tightly, his face red with rage

‘Ah’m unhappy with this’ Albert growled through closed lips

Afraid that the shearer might expect to be left tips

He paced up and down grumbling, his hands on his hips

‘The bugger charges two bob for each clump that ‘e clips!’

Image:

Hairy Bob. My own photograph.