Wish

Gold cherry

By Bee

Sun, 12 Jul 2015
  • 5153 reads
31 comments
 

That we'd never met, we'd have it 

yet to come - the pleasure 

on greeting, whilst the little stab 

at parting would be far from mind.



Your short walk to the distance 

never squeezed a drop

of sorrow, nor did I notice

the fortunate weight of cement 

in my feet preventing me 

from making a tit of myself, running 

to catch you up and beg on bended knees

in vain attempts at preventing you

from leaving.



And I wouldn't wish 

we'd never met -

because we wouldn't have done yet,

but perhaps we will, again.

Certificate 12
Poem
Miscellaneous
Love

Comments

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I think we have all been there. Like the rhyme and rhythm of this poem.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks AE. 

Bee

Submitted by love_writing on

The 'fortunate weight of cement in my feet' is a fantastic visual which reinforces the character unable to do anything to stop the ineviable. This was an emotive poem for me- brings back memories. 

love_writing

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks LW. Glad you could relate to it. 

Bee

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Bee,

I agree with the comments above, a poem many can relate to, including myself.

Those last few words give hope to what could be, but best left not knowing.

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you Jenny - especially for the last part of your comment.

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

As much written between the lines, as on them...the feeling I get.  Emotive and haunting.

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Tina.

Writing between the lines saves paper, don't you think? Thank you for your lovely comments.

x

Bee

Submitted by scratch on

This is our facebook and twitter pick of the day!

Get a fantastic reading recommendation every day.

 

Submitted by Bee on

I couldn't believe this got picked - thrilled. Thank you.smiley

Bee

Submitted by celticman on

on bended knee, so many connatations and the best line for me. 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Yes, but I doubt I was thinking of some of them. Glad it cheered you up though. 

Thanks CM, 

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks for the cherries - red and gold smiley

Bee

Submitted by jem on

That first stanza is particularly beautiful. Thank you for this on a rainy Sunday evening! Jem x

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you Jem.

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

I think that you have hit a nerve on this one. So many of us can relate to it in some way or other.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Jean. I'm really pleased it's one that turned out to be something others can relate to.

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

You get to that raw nerve moment, the one we try not to revisit and tell ourselves has healed...

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Philip, that means so much.

Bee

Submitted by london_calling79 on

A perfectly timed 'tit' for a bashful laugh at the persona and ourselves in the same places.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Ha ha! Thanks LC, I'm glad you thought that.

Bee

Submitted by catherine poarch on

I found this enigmatic and simple and honest at the same time. It's one of those anybody, anywhere, anytime things.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Catherine - it was written straight from the heart.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

And I wouldn't wish we'd never met - because we wouldn't have done yet, but perhaps we will, again.

You are very clever, Bee, in putting a twisted round, complex conception into neat words! And the reader has to double take, and think, 'Now, where do those double negatives leave us?' Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Rhiannon. It nearly did my tiny brain in thinking that through myself. I'm so happy you took the time to sort it out. If anyone could, it would be you.smiley xx

Bee

Submitted by jolono on

If you can't relate to this poem then I'm afraid you haven't really lived a life. As always Bee you find a way of putting the feelings of life into beautiful words. I am in awe.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you so much, jolono, that's lovely of you to say. 

X

Bee

Submitted by Ed Crane on

Yes, I think there are times we all felt this. Wondering what life would have been like if we had taken another tack or (worse) followed our first impression instincts.

I love the description of leaden (or cememented) feet when common sense finally takes over.

Really excellent heart-wrenching poem.

Ed X

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you Ed, that means a zillion!

xx

Bee

Submitted by RJF on

Love this Bee, ditto to all previous comments and well deserved golden cherries xx

 

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