White Van Man

Gold cherry

By Jane Hyphen

Tue, 28 Feb 2023
  • 1799 reads
12 comments
 

 

White van man

Ripping up the tarmac

With cat guts in the tyre treads

And tiny scattered wings 

Clinging to the wind shield

Drill drilling in his ear pods

As loud as the isolation

He’s a brown paper pilot

A steel safari ranger

A faceless rushing rider

On this relentless charge

Fulfillment of ‘the goods’

In all material forms

On to the next

‘Delivery men!’, they tut 

‘White van man!’ they curse

‘But where’s my parcel?’

He doesn’t stop

Breathing in all that carbon

Eleven plus hour days for just enough

But it’s better than falling 

Through a crack…

Consider working longer hours!

Get upskilled! Study in your sleep

When you’re not driving in your dreams

Seeing mansions and bedsits

Gated drives and tower blocks

What’s in all those boxes?

Electric blankets and turnips

And when we’ve all upskilled

From our paltry low paid jobs

Who will do them instead?

 

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Mark Burrow on

Enjoyed this. Like you say, working all the hours for just enough. And the grand upskilling is only going to happen in the minds of speechwriters and consultants. 

As an aside, I wondered today why scaffolders always play the same music. It's a phenomenon that needs to be explained. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for the cherries, Mark. Some comments politicians spout come from a place of ignorance, fair enough it's not their fault (they're so priviledged it's almost like a disability, a form of blindness). But some comments are utterly moronic and I think telling people to upskill and work longer hours is in the utterley moronic category.

Maybe the scaffolders are trying to match the sound of their steel poles clanging together in the back of the truck. I hate driving behind them, they never look like like they're secured properly!

 

Submitted by Mark Burrow on

I don't have much forgiveness in me I'm afraid. I feel like those politicians have had every opportunity to educate themselves and they've chosen greed, ignorance and bigotry. Telling people with buggar all to upskill themselves is so offensive. 

Mad to think people still defend the Tories. I heard a young working class lad on the train defending BJ the other day.  

Anyway, I'll stop ranting. 

Really liked the poem. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This really is (I hope) the very bottom-scraping dregs of politics in the last days of this 'government'

I wonder if anyone has mentioned 'upskilling' to the deliveroo driver who collapsed mid-delivery. This is not a world in which I want to live

Anyway - well deserved cherry and thank you for posting

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

I'd love to see Theresa Coffey attempting some of these jobs herself and then living off the wages for a few weeks without the luxury of 'expenses'.

I really hope this is the last of it too. There's a part of me that thinks it can't be real. How low can we go?

Thanks for reading and commenting.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I wonder if the "just get upskilled" thing is because they think "If I can get a job while not really knowing much, so can anyone"? I don't understand why people who rely on public services vote for a party against taxing the richest, who are not going to help voluntarily, much rather spend it in space or on research into eternal life.
Great poem! I like how you spin it round to the driver's point of view

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks Di. I don't think they realise that many industries just aren't well paid. We can't all work in finance and have corporate careers because it doesn't suit everyone and it would make the world an awful place. I know so many people, myself included, who have science degrees but still get paid twelve pounds an hour or less. The current government's take on wage inequality is simply offensive.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

from traffic hazard on motorways to traffic hazard in towns. wink

However you do make a very good point with this piece.

I'm not looking forward to the time the sky is filled with drones delivering silly items because we're too idle to go to the shops

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for reading, Ed. I agree, drones crowding our skies is awful and would surely damage our bird life as well as our privacy. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!

Please share/retweet if you've seen one like this

Picture Credit: https://tiny.cc/#

 

Submitted by celticman on

white-van man working all the hours and getting paid for just some of them. What a shitty job it is. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

It sure is. A bit like the farm workers who are paid much less than the minimum wage because their employer provides them with caravans and gives them targets which can only be fulfilled by working at break neck speed, all so that the supermarkets can get cheap supplies. I could go on and on but I won't.indecisionThanks for reading.