A Day in the Life
By Simon Barget
Today I went and sat in the lounge. I fell asleep on top of the two cushions. There was quite a lot of hair on them by that time. When I woke up it was sunny and the sun was partly in my eyes. I moved and tried to curl myself over my eye lids so the sun wouldn’t get into them. I used my left paw. It didn’t work. I looked around for a moment but didn’t really see anything. I fell asleep again, but this time I dreamt. I cannot say what I dreamt about. When I woke up I got up and went over to the food bowl. There were still quite a few pieces of food left in the food bowl. I knelt down and picked up only three pieces in my jaw and started crunching them under my teeth to start with. It turned out that these three pieces were not enough so I bent down for some more. Again, this time, I had not gathered enough and so I went in for the third time. That turned out to be enough for the moment. I then sat myself down next to the bowl for no good reason and didn’t move for about a minute. I sat alert, upright, with my paws tucked in to my haunches. The first thing I did when I moved was scratch the underside of my mane. It was something very sudden and jerky. I then decided to go over to the rug. I found a place on the rug and fell over onto my back so that I could get a better reach when I was scratching. I scratched the underside of my mane and then the bit below my jaw quite vigorously for quite a while. I didn’t groom myself so I didn’t use spittle or tongue spores. I then did actually groom myself, but only insofar as I was biting at the big knot of fur that I had become aware of again in the process of scratching. I tried to bite my way through it but gave up. Once I was done, I waddled back to the couch and paused a few seconds on the ground before jumping up onto the couch and then eventually back onto the two cushions. The sun was still there but not as much. I positioned myself on the cushions and lay in a swirl. My tail was backed up all around my body and I fell asleep quite easily. Again I cannot say whether I dreamt. When I woke up I walked slowly to the bedroom. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do when I got there. I stopped in the hallway by the bathroom and looked in to it but nothing more. Then I carried on walking to the bedroom. When I was there I jumped up onto the ledge by the window and I looked outside of the window. I sat still, high and perched. There was no sun here and it was starting to get dark. I sat for some time. I might have had the beginnings of a thought but this thought must have passed. After some time, I sprang down from the ledge on to the bed, dropping most of the distance with my hind paws still in contact with the bedside cabinet above the bed as I jumped. I got to the bed. I noticed some clothes on the bed, forming some sort of clump. I decided I wanted to do a wee on the clothes. I positioned myself over the clothes for that wee. I did do a long wee and when I had finished letting all of the wee out, I scratched my right paw back and forth vigorously over the clothes in an attempt to eliminate the scent. Then I found a spot not too near or far from the wee, because this spot appeared to have a natural indentation. I settled in it attempting to mould myself to the shape of the indentation. This took a little time. Eventually I had myself folded back around myself like a fox. I fell asleep and let myself fall. When I woke up, it was dark. I raised myself up, chin and neck first, and stretched. I had some numbness in the left side of my body since I had been pressing most of my weight on it during my sleep. I let this dissipate. I went back into the lounge. I realised I had forgotten I was thirsty. I took 15-30 full laps of the water bowl, flicking my tongue back and forth like a snake would do if it were drinking. After that, I felt satisfied with myself and sat as I do, paws tucked right in, body straight, looking straight ahead at absolutely nothing in particular. I paused further for a while after this. I then slowly bent my head down to take some pieces of food. I crunched them for a long time and then swallowed them. I wanted to go outside but the door was shut. A few minutes later I didn’t want the food to be in my alimentary canal any longer so I bent down and elongated my body and expelled it out with a great force. My body jerked and shuddered. Once I had done this once, I moved onto the rug to do the same thing again just next to the rug. There was some liquid now and not really much more solid food anymore. I sniffed at it but not much more. I went back up to the foot of the couch and then couldn’t decide if I wanted to go back up on to it or not. That was my day.