Parcel for You - Part 61 (the end)

 

‘I never thought you’d ask,’ said Cedric in what sounded like a fairly normal voice, almost human.

 

Now Vanessa was determined to get this over with as soon as possible. She led him up to the bedroom. Outside she could hear the sound of Spencer with his broom, sweeping up the leaves as directed. Bless him, she thought but her sentiments were interrupted by Cedric’s hands which were now trying to undo the buttons of her blouse.

 

‘Wait!’ she hissed, ‘I haven’t done this for a long time. I can’t be rushed and I want to undress you first.’

 

Cedric appeared to smirk and relax. Vanessa undid his trousers, telling herself that it would be just like a medical procedure, like changing her cyborg’s cartridge. His trousers dropped down to his knees which were very knobbly and looked in need of repair or even replacement. She prayed for this serial number to be easy to find as she pulled down his pants, not really knowing what she was going to see and based on the state of his knees, she was pretty worried about it.

 

It was most peculiar; his appendage appeared to be in two sections and they were slightly different colours, almost like there had been an interruption in the supply of plastic materials at the factory. She dropped down to her knees to get a closer look, lifting his appendage up so she had a clear view of the left side of his groin. He let out a slight groan as she put her head a little closer, and there it was, his little control panel, printed with the serial number, A0066 on a tiny silver sticker.

 

Crikey, she thought, he really is an early model. She said the number a few times over inside her head, pausing and breathing heavily as she did so.

 

Cedric looked down at her as if wondering what was happening. ‘Sorry, I just need to go and prepare myself. I won’t be a moment Cedric. I want to go and fetch something from my office, some lubricant..’

 

Vanessa rushed out of the bedroom, repeating the serial number over in her head. She had deemed it too risky to use her phone, just in case he caught a glimpse of the email. It was safer to access it on her computer. She quickly logged into Cybermates Worldwide, her hands shaking a little as she typed in his serial number, terrified of getting an error message because Cedric wasn’t actually her own cybermate.

 

There was a delay while the computer was thinking, a cluster of dancing fuzz gyrated in the box on the centre of the screen for about ten seconds. Then bang, another much longer number was generated. ‘Thank God. Shit!’ she whispered as she grabbed a paper and pen and quickly scribbled it down.

 

A new message popped up. ‘Your courier will drop off an appropriately sized box within the next 90 minutes and your cybermate will be removed immediately from your property.’

 

She took a few deep breaths to calm down and then ran back upstairs. Cedric was still standing there with his underwear and trousers around his ankles. Something had changed with his appendage though. Vanessa was reluctant to look. She knelt down again, clutching the piece of paper and began typing the code into his control panel.

 

‘Just trying something,’ she said breathlessly, ‘new settings, different positions etc.’

 

It was very difficult to see what she was doing. Cedric’s control panel was tiny and for a moment, she wasn’t convinced that it was even functional but after pushing the main switch a few times a red light came on and then the keyboard flashed up.

 

‘What’s going on down there?’ he said.

 

‘Just be patient. It will all be worth it in the end I promise,’ Vanessa’s voice was shaking now. Concentrating hard, she punched in the code, feeling as if she were in a movie, perhaps diverting an asteroid or neutralising an explosive.

 

It worked. Cedric began to collapse immediately. First his appendage shrunk and bent over, then his knobbly knees dropped, his eyes became yet more crossed as he sunk to the floor in a heap. Vanessa breathed a sigh of relief and went over to the window to check on Spencer. His sweeping had become very slow and he kept stopping and leaning his chin on the end of the broom.

 

Now it was a waiting game. Vanessa began to catastrophise; what if the courier didn’t turn up? Then she would definitely be dumping Cedric somewhere far away, she had a big suitcase in the loft and in his collapsed state she was convinced she could fold him into it and close it up. Anything to get him out of her house.

 

She stayed next to him, giving Annie a running commentary by text message of what was happening. To her surprise, Charlie re-entered the house and came strolling into her bedroom. He sniffed Cedric’s body a few times and then walked up and down, stroking the side of his tail on Vanessa’s legs. Gosh, he knows, she thought, he knows that Cedric has been fully immobilised. 

 

After forty five minutes had passed, she heard a vehicle outside, a van, she could hear the side door sliding open and the driver rummaging inside. The doorbell rang abruptly and she ran downstairs.

 

‘Parcel for you,’ said the driver as he handed her a large, flatpack cardboard box. ‘I’ll give you six minutes to prepare the box then I’ll come in and give you a hand if you like.’

 

‘Oh,’ Vanessa was flummoxed by the efficiency of the whole thing, ‘so you know what I’m sending….’

 

‘Yes, yes. I know what all this is about. I’ve done sixteen of these already today. I’m working overtime.’

 

Vanessa laughed nervously and shut the front door but she was horrified to see Spencer standing behind her in the hallway. ‘What are you doing there? I thought I told you to stay in the back garden, sweeping until I said so..’

 

‘Sorry. Did you see that Charlie came back into the house? Hey that box…’ Spencer went into a sort of swoon as he reached out to touch the brown cardboard, staring at it and closing his eyes. ‘It looks so familiar, it’s making me feel all funny inside my motherboard and…I don’t know, sort of nostalgic I think. Is it possible that I’m experiencing nostalgia?’

 

‘Spencer, I need you to go back into the back garden otherwise Annie’s plan just isn’t going to work.’

 

‘Really?’

 

‘Yes really.’ Spencer continued to fondle the box, rubbing his hand along the edges of the cardboard. ‘Spencer if you don’t go back into the garden then Cedric will become my new husband!’

 

‘Okay,’ Spencer stepped back, turned around and scurried away towards the back door.

 

Vanessa thought for a moment. Was it better to take the box upstairs or to throw Cedric’s lifeless body down the stairs and pack him in the hall? She decided it was more sensible to carry the box up and build it there. Fortunately it was very cleverly designed and after lifting up one side and securing a few flaps, it was built to a sort of tunnel shape with openings at each end and felt very strong and stable.

 

She climbed halfway into the tunnel, grabbed Cedric’s arms and began to drag him inside. He slid smoothly along on the surface of the cardboard but she couldn’t tuck his limbs in enough to close up the ends. His arms and legs just kept popping back out. Beginning to feel panicked, she rushed downstairs and out onto the street and banged on the driver’s window.

 

The driver jumped and then smiled at her and got out. ‘Having trouble?’ he said.

 

‘No..yes, it’s just closing the box securely that’s all. There’s bits poking out.’

 

The driver followed her upstairs into the bedroom. It didn’t feel entirely safe, letting a stranger into her home but Vanessa reminded herself that all normal rules had gone out of the window and she just had to go with the flow in order to survive this process.

 

‘Oh he’s still got his pants down,’ said the driver as he peered into the box, ‘just having one last tryst were you, for old times sake.’

 

Vanessa blushed. ‘Not quite. I just want him gone now please.’

 

‘Alright Love,’ The driver roughly threw Cedric’s limbs towards his torso and then pushed him hard into the box, quickly closing the flaps at the ends and securing them with some strong stickers he had stored inside his pocket. ‘No sad goodbyes then?’

 

Vanessa shook her head. ‘No. I’m glad to see the back of this one. Thank you,’ she said as the driver carried the box out to the van.

 

She breathed a huge sigh of relief as the van drove off and disappeared around the corner. ‘Spencer?’ She called out as she rushed out to the garden to find the green bin open and filled with leaves and Spencer dutifully clutching his broom. ‘Come inside now,’ she whispered.

 

‘You look all teary,’ he said, wiping his hand gently across her cheek.

 

‘He’s gone Spencer, he’s gone.’ The married couple embraced and hugged each other for several seconds before Vanessa broke it off, holding firmly onto his arms and staring into his eyes. ‘Now I need you to stay indoors, away from the windows and doors.’

 

‘Why?’

 

‘It’s just you and me now Spencer. I want to keep you safe, here with me forever.’