Yes Day

You wake me up
and ask me to turn and face you.

Foggy from the night before
and 1 a.m. sad songs,
I resist,
mumble,
and hide beneath my pillow.

You refuse to relent.
You reach under the covers
and take my hand in yours.

“Turn and face your beautiful daughter,”
you demand.

Your touch reminds me of the world
I have built for you.

I turn to see your face,
still wrinkled with sleep,
your breath is warm and sweet.

I look at the face
I once carried beneath my ribs
and try to rouse myself
from my melancholy.

“Let’s have a yes day,” I say.

You squeal with delight
and leap out of bed,
hands on hips
like Peter Pan.

“I want a swim before breakfast,
ice cream for breakfast,
and more swims after!”

Your whole body rejoices
in this freedom.

Soon, you stand before me
with your boogie board
tucked beneath your arm.

As we walk to buy you a floaty,
I watch you stride ahead—
still small,
yet already older
than the girl
who was once terrified of water.

You turn to ask again
about the floaty,
still not quite believing
the day began with ice cream
and more yeses to come.

“Yes,” I say.
“Yes, today.”

We eat watermelon for lunch,
and you ask if it’s okay
that you don’t eat
the vegetables or eggs.

“Yes,” I say,
while quietly wondering
if I’m failing as a mother.

We visit the beach twice—
first with your brother,
later, just us.

And as I watch you
slide into the ocean
on that boogie board,
I marvel at your confidence,
your sense of adventure.

I watch you balance rocks
on your board while talking to them,
and I know you are deep
inside imaginary worlds,
each rock a character
alive in your mind.

Your lips turn blue with cold.
I tell you it’s time to leave,
and you protest:

“But it’s a yes day!”

So I relent—
even when you scrape your knees
on the pebbles,
even when your lips chatter—

because watching you glide
into the shallows,
so certain in your body,
so free from time,
so lost in imagination,

I picture you
as an adult,
without me there
watching your every move.

And I hope
you will never learn
to throw away
your heart's desires,

because once,
you knew exactly how it felt
to have someone say yes
to what you wanted.