Ladies who lunch at The Entomol

Gold cherry

By Jane Hyphen

Wed, 31 May 2023
  • 1613 reads
22 comments
 

 

The waiter served the mermaid pie with a glass of our favourite tipple

As he pulled out the cork, a wasp flew out and stung me on the nipple

 

Daphne asked if I was well and offered me sniff from a tin

I opened my mouth to answer her and a butterfly flew in

 

‘This octopus is middle-aged,’ said I, ‘Daphne, be careful to chew it!’

She flared her saucy nostril and an earwig crawled through it

 

She quaffed and we talked, I scoffed and she squawked

And ladybirds crawled through the roots of her hair

And cockroaches danced in our underwear

 

‘I’ve a bothersome rash,’ whispered Daphne as she crunched on her woodlouse brulee

She pulled up her jodhpur to show me and a vine weevil scuttled away

 

She said, ‘Do have ants with your lemon meringue,

they’re protein enriched with a curious tang.’

 

I hailed the pickled waiter and asked him to hang for a tip

I opened my purse and a cricket crawled out and appendaged itself to my lip

 

I said, cheerio to sweet Daphne who had drunk herself into a stupor

She said thanks with a jar of her grasshopper jam with whole Mother Shipton and pupa

 

 

Certificate U
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

This is a repost from 2009 when I used to post on here as catherweb. I have tweaked it slightly. Yes, it's very silly but something about the IP reminded me of it and I had to go back and read it again.

 

Submitted by Ewan on

 
A clever idea, indeed.

Some of it doesn't quite scan, though. Or at least, I couldn't make it do so. Perhaps it was the way I read it out loud. I did have two or three goes.

Very funny.

Best, Ewan x

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks Ewan, I have just corrected one mistake. To be honest, I'm not sure if I scanned back then when I wrote it. My grammar was appalling, bog standard comp education and no A levels or further English. I seem to remember I had a lot of help from 'Jennifer'.

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for the cherries btw.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is new to me, so thank you for re-posting Jane. It's been a while since I read something so completely bonkers! (in a good way)

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

It is bonkers, I'm guilty but it is a true story.

 

Submitted by celticman on

certainly lots of proten in your wordage. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Earthworms are up to sixty percent protein, celticman. I wouldn't eat them but I might be swallowing my words in a few years time..Thanks for reading x

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

You show a pleasure in, and knowledge of, the many insects, and other inverebrates! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you Rhiannon. The insect world is a mini universe. I wonder what they think of us or what they even think about?

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

When I read your comment that this poem was about a true incident, it had me in mind of the strange foods that some people will devour that I've seen on tv. I like how you've given the poem a rhythm and rhyme, gives it such a poetic stance that makes you want to smile,smiley though I don't know if it was amusing at the time. blush I enjoyed reading.

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for reading and your comment, Jenny. I must say, I'm terrible at watching those programmes and have a very low wretching threshold, although the insects are probably the most tolerable thing they eat. I glad to hear it made you smile, I remember, I had fun writing it all those years ago.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Joyfully Surreal this fabulous poem is Pick of the Day, please do share and retweet if you can!

The image is from here : https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ad/Insekter.jpg/4...
Jane, please change if you want to

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you for POTD, Di. I feel a bit of a cheat, having posted this before. I really like the picture btw.

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Wonderful, Jane, love the bonkersness of it. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Congratulations Jane! I think if it was posted in 2009 it counts as new to most of us, so it's not cheating

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

vintage verse :0) glad the picture is ok, had such a strong image in my mind of your two ladies and nothing came close

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you. I have an image of those two ladies too, and also their voices. surprise

 

Submitted by marandina on

Love the title. There's something about the phrase "ladies that do lunch" that makes me smile every time I hear it. This is totally bonkers for sure and plays out like a mini-movie. Based on a true story too? Looking forward to the uncensored book release! :) 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Well the video got banned, Paul but I might have a dusty VHS somewhere.

Ladies who lunch, I agree, it's an event which doesn't appear to exist in the world of menfolk. Thank you for reading and commenting.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I wanted to be an entmologist when I was at school, but ..... you know frown

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

You still can - if it's the insects that interest you. I did a little during my Horticulture degree and it was very fascinating to learn that some insects are born pregnant. The names of the biological orders are simply beautiful. Thank you for reading, Ed x