My chemo has gone well over the last few weeks, with no new nasty side effects. So what is there to write about?
This whole piece of writing started with my Bell's Palsy, and today for the first time in six months, I could see both of my eyes blinking. One is a little bit lazier, but they both close. My mouth however gives the game away. Certain letters make my mouth screw up and that has been a constant feature. I wonder if it will ever go away. They say some people keep a residue of the problem forever. So if people look at me, but don’t talk to me, I look almost normal.
My stoma isn’t really causing many problems now either. But there are moments of humour or embarrassment depending on the circumstances. Stomas make lots of noise - not unlike the noises stomachs make on occasion. But they tend to make them louder and more musically - and you are never quite sure when they are going to start the chorus. When we were doing chemo last week, I asked for a cup of tea. I don’t like tea very much, but I was thirsty. As soon as I started sipping it, Effie started singing. The room was nearly empty, but as no doubt many of the others who come for chemo will also have stomas, it didn’t worry me. But it was funny and my daughter and I couldn’t stop laughing. I’d take a sip, and she would say “eeuw,” sort of cat like. Then another sip, and “weeee” and again, and perhaps “pop, pop” and on it went. I probably took 20 minutes to finish the tea, and then started on an egg sandwich, and immediately she was quiet.
I feel quite protective of my Effie and often sort of have my hand comfortingly over her, and sort of petting her. Sort of like I would have done when I was pregnant - but this time instead of protecting new life, I am protecting old life - as without her, I would not be around. I know it was the clever surgeon who created her, who I am really appreciating, but it is nice to have a symbol of my life being saved.
I see the oncologist tomorrow for the second time, and he will decide if I can tolerate a larger dose of the drug. I don’t see why not and if I can’t presumably they can put me back down again.