Bye bye baby breast
By jeand
- 2475 reads
Bye-bye Baby Breast
My breasts have always been my least favourite bits of me. When I was a little girl, I used to go into our basement (when I was on my own) and go into the cedar chest and dig out my older half sister’s bra. She had moved to Portland many years before, but left behind this one 36 C white bra, and I would try it on and imagine what it would be like to fill it.
When my sister Judy, a year older than me, and I went with our neighbour Shirly Zabardino and her mother to her first bra fitting sessions, I was thrilled. She tried on the bra over her undershirt (vest) and was very proud that she was big enough to warrant a proper bra. She and Judy were about 11 at the time. Her mother looked at me and said, “Never mind, your turn will soon come.”
By 12 I was wearing a bra, 32 AA and padded. I was ashamed and so disappointed.
I cried when I first stripped in front of my to be husband, thinking he would be so disappointed in what I had to offer. But he covered up any disappointment very well, and showed me some of the more fun properties of my breasts.
The only time I reached the dizzy heights of wearing a C cup bra, and filling it out was when I breast fed my babies. And I was very sad when they returned to single Mac size afterwards.
But not long ago, fashion changed, and lots of the famous women in their low cut dresses expose breasts not any bigger than mine. And also as I grew older, I realised that the problem of heavy breasts drooping was a problem - one I didn’t have. My old breasts look pretty good to me.
As you who read my stuff know, breast cancer was not my worst nightmare, and the fact that when it was diagnosed it was very definitely put firmly in last place because of the other problems with the rest of my body. But now it is time to deal with it.
I never had a lump as such that I felt. I had no idea there was anything wrong with my breasts until the scan showed something that was “not quite normal”. My type of breast cancer is situated in the milk producing part of the breast, so more or less directly under the nipple. So it doesn’t change the shape of the breast in any way. And on my other breast, I can feel that even without cancer, the area under the nipple isn’t empty.
When it was first diagnosed, I was told that I would need surgery. It was stage 2, so no effect on the lymph glands, and about the size of an oval slightly fatter ginger biscuit - 40 mm in circumference. And it all had to wait until after my chemo treatment for the colon cancer had finished. But in the meantime they prescribed a medicine which blocks oestrogen from forming in the fat in the stomach area. And this was supposed to make sure it didn’t grow in the meantime. This type of cancer is oestrogen dependent.
I’ve had scans and mammograms recently and yesterday had my pre-op. The surgery is on March 27.
As part of the pre-op procedures, I had an ECG. The male nurse said, “Are you happy with me doing the procedure, or do you want the female nurse to do it.” I said I was OK with him.
“Take off your top layers,” he said, “but you can leave on your bra.”
“I’m not wearing one,” I said, and he scampered out of the room, shouting to the female nurse that she do me. I thought it was funny.
So just waiting now for nearly 3 weeks for the surgery and then I can tell you what it was like.
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Comments
Always good to hear you, Jean
Always good to hear you, Jean. and thanks for letting us know. I'm sure you're glad to get it done, and pray you'll have plenty to keep occupied with meantime, and that He will watch over you and the surgeon's hands. much love, Rhiannon
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Hope all goes well. As Rhiannon says, so lovely to hear from you .Your stoicism and humour is an example to us all. Take good care of yourself. Paul x
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Hi Jean, It's good to hear
Hi Jean, It's good to hear from you and I hope your surgery goes well, and that all your troubles will be behind you very soon.
Take care.
Jenny.
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I loved the picture you drew
I loved the picture you drew of the male nurse running, terrified at the idea of someone not wearing a bra.
All fingers crossed here that it goes well and that you make a swift recovery in time for the good weather (which is most definitely not today!)
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Best wishes to you Jean -
Best wishes to you Jean - hope everything goes well. And yes, I too laughed out loud at the male nurse!
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Hi Jean
Hi Jean
Still as impressed as ever with your writing, always a touch of humour no matter what the subject. Your positivity is quite inspiring.
My sister in law had a similar breast cancer, they told her they could just remove the lump but not guarantee its return. She opted for a mastectomy and has been well ever since, and this was about ten years ago. She was also offered reconstructive surgery but declined.
We will be thinking about you on the 27th, keep us informed.
Lindyx
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Interesting the relationship
Interesting the relationship women have with their breasts. I've never really understood why we have them, after all, they don't need to be big to feed a baby. Good luck with your surgery, wishing you all the best for a smooth recovery.
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Best wishes from me, too.
Best wishes from me, too. Having for most of my life wished I was larger in the boob department, I enjoyed your descriptions of this :0) Like you, am now happy not to have to carry the weight. You are a brilliant teacher for how to look on the brightside, thankyou for continuing to post these lessons in how to be the best kind of person.
I hope so much everything goes well. And congratulations all the chemotherapy is done with
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Bravery Jean
With a splash of humor.... My prayers are with you*
I have not the words to express what you have written herein, courage, eloquence, class, in descriptiveness relating to the past & presence about your soul, anatomy, challenge, fear and being there in diagnoses to over come. (hope that came out right)...
I smiled at the end there with the male nurse....(funny)*
Point is; respect & prayers Jean.
Gods-Speed* & Love
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Ah, the strange relationship
Ah, the strange relationship we have with our mammary glands! So lovely to read your wonderful, dry humour again. Glad to hear that at least the chemo is over, and sending you all the very, very best for the coming op. As so many others have said, keep us posted. Lots of hugs x
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