Conversation With My Body

Cherry

By GlosKat

Sat, 06 Jun 2026
  • 524 reads
21 comments
 

I took you swimming three times a week

And spin class and gym and running.

 

I gave you a good diet

Five a day, and not much meat.

 

I stopped pouring alcohol down you years ago

I never made you smoke.

 

I took you to yoga class and mindfulness sessions

To help you relax.

 

So why have you turned against me now ?

It's so unfair.

 

Why ?

Certificate 15
Non-fiction
Philosophy

Comments

Submitted by HarryC on

Ha ha! It's a conversation I have, too! All those years of fitness and healthy eating (which I still maintain as much as I can) - so where did that paunch come from, those veins?

More seriously, I wasn't sure of the Attwood connection, so had the look it up - and I think I see now where you're coming from: the psychological and socio-political implications of body denigration. An academic friend did her PhD on Margaret Attwood's work, and met her once. I read a few of her novels, but many years ago and I struggle to remember them now.

Submitted by GlosKat on

I was thinking about a short story of Margaret Atwood's which I read years ago.  It was written in the first person by a woman who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  And she's so angry with her body for letting her down after she's looked after it so well.  That sense of boiling indignation really stayed with me.

I was thinking not so much about the natural effects of ageing (yep, veins and cellulite and wrinkles and glasses and hearing aids) all of which I'm pretty ok about accepting. It's when someone gets diagnosed with something really bad, after they've put a lot of effort into looking after themselves well, that seems so unfair.  

Thanks for reading !

 

 

 

Submitted by HarryC on

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Kat,

been feeling so down of late and I know you can understand how I'm feeling. Your poem rings so true with me. I hope this poem isn't about you, I would hate to think you're going through the same thing as me.

I wanted to put my own poem on about the way I'm feeling at present, but worry that I'm making people feel down. I know that I'm absolutely horrible company at the moment and spend a lot of time on my own, which is how I prefer to be.

You've always been understanding and yes life is so unfair.

Thank you for sharing this honest poem.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by HarryC on

I hope, too, this is not about you, Kat. I didn't read it that way at first, I admit.

Sorry that you've been so down, Jenny. I wouldn't worry about making people feel down, though. If it helps to write it out and post it, it's honest. And a problem shared... smiley

Take care.

Submitted by GlosKat on

Hi Harry and Jenny

It is kind of about me a bit, but only a bit.  I'm living with an autoimmune condition triggered by stress three years ago.  But it's fine, it doesn't affect my daily life at all, I just have to go for check ups to make sure it's doesn't morph into anything more serious.  I do see the irony in the situation, I'm really strict about my diet and my exercise and having a healthy lifestyle - and then I got kiboshed by sneaky old stress.

You did pop into my mind Jenny, while I was writing this. To the extent that I did think about not posting it in case I upset you. - I do remember you were a fitness instructor.  But the woman in the short story (actually it might have been a novel come to think of it, it was a long time ago) does survive the breast cancer. I hope you have had all your results back and have started treatment now. And you mustn't worry about posting on here, I know you've said it makes you feel better. There are a lot of people on here who do care about you, and want to know what's going on. x

 

Submitted by HarryC on

Stress can affect the health in so many ways, Kat. I've had PTSD in the past - once so bad (and, ironically, following on incident in adulthood that echoed the '3s' problem I've recently recorded in 'Tom All Alone') that I was unable to go out for weeks. Anxiety and depression are always close bedfellows, too. Even retirement doesn't negate them: different sources now. I, too, have always kept fit, and eaten almost puritanically healthily. Mental health is another matter, though.

Submitted by GlosKat on

Thanks Harry.

My mental health has been worse since I retired, with no partner, no family anywhere near, and living in a small village. Going to work 5 days a week, doing (generally) something I liked, and being with my team who I (generally) liked too, was all good for me.  Every time I got the opportunity to work from home I turned it down.  Lockdown hit just after I retired and I struggled with that, too.

I'm getting to grips with it though, doing several different volunteering jobs, and going to exercise classes to socialize.  And I'm just about to move into the nearest small town, which will be really good for me.

Hope you are feeling better now.

 

Submitted by HarryC on

I've always had struggles around people, to a greater or lesser degree. Part of the ASC, as I now realise. But I enjoyed the work in my last few years there - in social care. I got out of the care side after Covid (managed to work all through that, but it took a huge toll) and ended up a domestic in an autistic children's unit. Basically my own boss, with no one to disturb me. It's a good job for bringing a kind of stillness. I don't have any really close family or friends. While I am okay with that, I fully understand why most would find it difficult.

I now enjoy not being beholden to anyone at all, and having the time to devote to things I want to do rather than have to do. But it does make me lazy. And it does sometimes get me to wondering what it's all added up to. Writing helps - but I've always found it hard. And my ambitions for it have changed. I don't feel the push that I once did, even though I have ideas I want to pursue. I suppose I need to get a lot of this more 'personal' stuff out of the way first. Writing about childhood has helped to give perspective. I keep myself going with the thought 'I am not what my life has made me - I am who I chose to become.' Not sure I always believe it, mind!

Take care.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Dear Kat,

I'm so sorry to hear you have Autoimmune Condition. It's hard to imagine that life would hit us with so many stressful conditions when we were young and freedom was for living. 

I don't think my life will ever be the same again, even if I survive this terrible Cancer which seems to be getting worse. I haven't had the test results back yet and even though I know the doctor said it would take six weeks for them to come back, it feel like it's an endless wait, but there's nothing I can do.

I've not been out for weeks, apart from the hospital. Feeling so tired all the time, just trying to get through each day, keeping busy with the cleaning and listening to my records. I don't even want to see anyone, it just gives me anxiety.

I'm hoping you find peace of mind and discover an exciting beautiful future, you deserve it with what you've been through.

Take care my friend.

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Oh Jenny I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time.  All I can say is that my relative Geoff went through exactly the same thing.  When the NHS finally got into gear they were great, and he's still here 3 years later with a very reasonable quality of life.

I think everyone must be finding the weather depressing.at the moment.  I know what your weather must be like because you are just down the road from me - dark, cold, wet and windy.  My friend and I couldn't understand why our hay fever is so bad on days when the pollen count is low, but I think it's the fierce wind.  Even if there's not much pollen it's being blown about everywhere.

But sunny weather is coming from Friday !  So when you look out at your garden you will be much more cheerful.  Do you have a bird feeder ?  Even when I am stuck at the kitchen window washing up I love to see the little birds on the feeder and they make me smile. (Not so keen on the starlings, I think they're big bullies).

I know you said you don't want to see anyone because it makes you anxious, but you know how to get hold of me if you feel up to a visit. 

Chin up darling.  This is my favourite meditation for times when I'm feeling overwhelmed.  Hopefully this link will work :

https://community.breathworks-mindfulness.org.uk/posts/everyday-mindfulness-2-a-practice-for-times-of-overwhelm

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Thank you for your kind words Kat. Honestly the weather doesn't bother me, I quite like the rain and the wind.

I decided to put my poem on.

Thank you also for the kind link, I'll take a look later.

Your friend Jenny. X

 

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on

This is obviously striking a chord with a few others Gloskat! It might be worth expanding a little?

Also, Jenny please do write and post whatever you feel like without worrying about bringing other people down.

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Thanks Claudine.  I think it said everything that I wanted really. 

Guess it's not an uncommon feeling for those of us here of a certain age. 

And thank you for the cherries.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Thank you insert,

I keep looking at my poem and still not sure. 

Jenny.

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Well we're sure for you.  Post it. Please.

 

Submitted by SoulFire77 on

Here's mine:

Me: Why is my body always doing this to me?

Body: Remember that time you were mad because none of your help showed up to work and you jumped out of the back of that box truck trying to be "faster"?

Me: Yeah but...

Body: ...and, remember that time when you wrecked your car after an all day music festival and you were so in shock that you thought you could "drive out of the ditch (four meters down)" even though you had a mailbox post rammed through the radiator?

Me: Yeah...

Body: Now, I'm reminding you about the time you were playing "quarters" and you ran out of booze...

Me: Don't say it...

Body: ...and you realized you still had that NyQuil in the fridge...

Me: (sigh) Why is my brain always doing this to me?

Brain: Oh, you are starting in with me now? This late at night?

Me: Wait, no... It's 4 am... I didn't mean it!

Brain: Remember that time your third grade music teacher made you sit in the corner with a dunce cap on in front of the whole class and she...
 

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

smiley  Yep, your body has defiinitely got a valid point (or several) there, Jay.

I wondered what NyQuil is and this is what CoPilot says 'NyQuil cannot be purchased over-the-counter in the UK because one of its key ingredients, doxylamine succinate, is not licensed for use in UK cold and flu products due to regulatory differences'.  I guess our equivalent is Night Nurse.

 
 

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Old faithful hasn't let me down yet.

Keep well! Tom

 

Submitted by Nolan on

All kinds of things happen

All kinds of things happen to your body as you grow older, like hair growing out of your nose and ears, your chest slips, you get old man's titties you get weak and ugly in general

Luckily you dont worry about it as much either.

Keep well, take it easy! Nolan &

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Thanks for reading Nolan and Tom.

Yes I think looking after yourself as best you can, then accepting all the naturally ageing stuff, is the way to go,