Diagnosis Of My Appointment

Cherry

By skinner_jennifer

Sat, 20 Jun 2026
  • 454 reads
20 comments
 

Dear diary...Thursday June 18th will be a date I won't forget in a long time, it's written down on about four calendars in our house and in two diaries and now here on abc tales.

 
Waiting to go in and see the doctor seemed like forever. But then the door opened. As soon as he came out to meet me, I just knew by the look on his face that it wasn't good news.
 
As I sat down I tried to act confident and cheerful, but as the words came out of his mouth: "I'm sorry to have to tell you Jennifer, but the results that came back were not good. You do have Adenocarcinoma Cancer." It struck home that more bad news was coming.
 
I got the meaning of this word off the internet and it reads...
 
Adenocarcinoma is a type of cancer that originates in the glandular cells living organs. It's a malignant tumour that starts in glandular cells, which are responsible for secreting fluids like mucus, digestive juices in the body. Unlike benign adenomas, which are noncancerous growths, adenocarcinomas invade surrounding tissues and can spread to other parts of the body, a process known as metastasis.
 
I found myself bursting into tears when he told me. I had a feeling the meeting with the doctor wouldn't go that well, but then he told me I will have to have two years of Chemotherapy, starting on Wednesday July 1st 2026,  and all I could think was! Why me? What have I done to deserve all this bad luck? 
 
Having gone through two hip replacements, nearly six months of not being able to walk and having chest infections, it really feels like it's one thing after another. 
 
Next week I've got so many appointments, I might just as well take a camp bed and sleeping bag and camp outside the hospital...that's if I didn't feel so bad, and that's not all. I have so many tablets I have to take leading up to the chemotherapy I'll be like a babies rattle, by the time it comes to starting the chemo.
 
My biggest fear is the insert I'll have to wear constantly in my lower arm for two years, then there's all the bad things that can happen from having treatment, I couldn't believe the list, it was endless with no let up. Even getting one side effect is more than I can imagine or bear.
 
I've looked at so many other writers on abc tales that we've lost like: Bee, Jean, Wellwisher and so many more,  and know that what I have will never be fully cured. I don't know how long I've got, but I'm trying to stay strong...maybe it will be years, I just don't know.
 
I want to come on and read more of my favourite writers, but find it so hard to concentrate, so I hope they'll understand.
 
My diary for the moment with all the appointments lined up for me this coming week has been cut short. But as Arnie would say, "I'll be back."
Certificate PG
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Comments

Submitted by insertponceyfre... on

I'm so sorry about the bad news Jenny - I can totally understand how it's all very overwhelming at the moment. I think trying to stay strong is the perfect thing to aim for right now and perhaps you can break things down into steps so they don't all seem to fall on your head at once.

Maybe if you feel up to it later on, you can think about contacting the Macmillan nurse - I've heard such good things about how kind and helpful they can be - as well as reassuring, which you sound in need of

We are all here for you whenever you want to pop in. Sending you a big hug xx

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Thank you for your thoughts insert,

I'm in touch with two Macmillan nurses and one is going to be with me on my first treatment. Yes you're right they are very good and do listen, but at the moment I don't feel very strong. I suppose it's the unknown that's the scariest part.

I was taking some medicine at night to help me sleep, which was working,  but I think the cancer has suddenlly got used to it and is fighting back, because I only had about two hours sleep last night. Just glad it's a Sunday and not Monday, as I have a very busy week.

Thank you so much for the cherries and the warm, welcoming words which I'm very grateful for.

Jenny. xx 

 

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

Hi Jenny

Thanks for letting us know about the diagnosis and future treatment. At least you have been given chemo for two years which seems to give some hope. Cancer treatment in my lifetime (70 + years) seems to have progressed fantastically with many cures and delays to its progress. New treatments coming along all the time.

Lets hope the new drugs prescribed will help with breathing and sleep problems.

Thoughts and hopes with you.

Take care

Lindy

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Many thanks for sharing your thoughts Lindy,

You know I'm so very grateful to have abc tales to vent my feelings. I can talk about Cancer here without bursting into tears which is such a release.

So many lovely people give me a sense of belonging. I'm a big baby when it comes to needles and I've had so many lately I have felt like a pin cusion. Now I know there's going to be many more needles to come.

I will try to stay strong, but I know the road is long and will be bumpy with up hill battles. Thank you again for staying with me on this journey, It's much appreciated.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Sory, Jenny. At least they are suggesting treatment at present not just palliative care, but I hope the treatment and all the appointments aren't too difficult in themselves. As Insert says a Macmillan nurse could be a real friend, and one who understands the system and can see how you are coping and make suggestions. much love, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Bless you Rhiannon,

I'm in touch with two Macmillan nurses and one will be with me on my first treatment to reassure me, so I understand where you and insert are coming from.

I suppose feeling sorry for myself is all part of the process with cancer, but I'm trying to stay strong and do as I'm told, carrying out all the procedures needed.

Many thanks for commenting and staying with me on this scary journey, it's warmly received.

Jenny. 

 

 

 

Submitted by Curtis Ray Jones on

No words can really help, I don't really know you, but my heart goes out to you, if that helps. Your pain, fear, and your struggle will be yours to go through, experience and endure. My prayers are with you and all my care. Just know you are cared for by people like me you have never actually met. 

All my concern, Ray

Rayjones

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Ray,

your prayers and caring words are greatly appreciated, I need all the help I can get. I do have a busy week coming up, but will be reading your story most definitely, as I said I'm invested in it, because it takes me away from reality which is what I need at present.

Many thanks for caring and sharing your thoughts, they mean more than words can say.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by celticman on

Hi Jenny, I'm getting immunotherapy. My dad died in six weeks. But that was thirty years ago. It was pretty much palliative care then. New treatments offer much better odds. The NHS and Macmillan nurses are great and the nurse to staff ratio is unnbeliveable. But then again the two busiest places I know are the crematorium and the Beatson. In terms of why me? My understanding was why not me? No drama. The hardest part was telling my loved ones. Some cried. I didn't. I waited until I knew I had a chance of life before I told anyone. First cycle of immunotherapy was painless and my tumour has shrunk. No side effects to talk about. Although on the first day, I did lose the use of my left arm, or thought  I did. But I'd just been lying on it overnight. I said no drama. But I just can't help myself wiht the dead-arm trick. If I lived in America I'd be already dead. The cost of treatment really is astronomical. We're lucky. We really are. Everybody dies of something.  

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Great attitude Jack, wishing you well.  Kat x

PS As well as being glad you don't live in America, I think you should be glad you don't live in England.  The NHS sounds so much better up there in Scotland, no NHS prescription charges for a start. 

 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I am really so sorry to hear this news Jack. Life really does throw some shit at us doesn't it? I suppose we're all different and cope with these bad things in different ways. I'm not afraid of dying and when I'm at my worst I welcome it.

Looking back on my life, I've been so lucky up to now. Been places, done things I look back on and think to myself, life has been a blast of an experience. You have read most of my life experiences through my writing, so I think you understand how crazy my life has been.

Anyway, all I can do is wish you well and hope your treatment works for you and life becomes easier.

Take care.

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by celticman on

cheers Jenny, I have read your memoir on here. And I know how difficult you had it. This is just another bump on a long road. We've had a life. Anything more is a bonus. There are far worse things than cancer. Or dying. 

You're right Kat, zero charge for prescriptions. As it should be. The donought in the American model is those that pay for treatment can't afford to pay for the cure (prescriptions). Medical engineering. They've built the bridge but there's a hole in the middle. We get all that shit with our dentists. Or if you're an animal person, your pet. The first questiion isn't what's wrong, but how are you going to pay. As you know, I tend to start ranting here. 

 

Submitted by GlosKat on

Absolutely.  When I used to go to one of those vets who are run by big companies (60% of them) , the first thing the vet would say was 'is he insured ?'.  If I said yes they would suggest all sorts of expensive treatments which wouldn't necessarily be in the cat's best interest or quality of life. 

Now I take my animals to a lovely independent vets in Cirencester, started by two vets and a nurse, who got out of the corporate vet model. One of them used to have my old cat at her house if he had to be in over the weekend (no charge) and when I was too ill to drive she would come out of her way to pick him up from my house (no charge either).  

It's the same with most care homes which are not run by people who care about little old ladies and paying their staff a decent wage, but are run by big holding companies who only care about the shareholders.

That's my rant !

 

Submitted by celticman on

no rant, Kat. common sense. 

 

Submitted by hilary west on

Hi Jenny,

Glad to hear like Arnie you will be back, that's the important thing, plenty of defiance. it sounds as if it will be a trial with all the appointments and treatments but I am sure your stoicism will see you through.

Best Wishes,

hilary   heart

 

 

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah, so sorry, Jenny. The upside is you are staying strong. Two years of chemo is a long haul but it's a clear plan which is a good thing in these circumstances. You have many friends at ABCTales. Treatments for cancer have advanced rapidly over the years and I think things are significantly better than they were in the past. Keep smiling and take care x

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

You're a plucky lass, our Jenny, and I have so much admiration for how you're coping, and for your honesty when it all feels so difficult. Please do keep putting updates on here, when you feel able. We're all rooting for you x

Submitted by Turlough on

Hello Jenny.

I’m sorry I drifted away for a while so I’ve only just read this, and your two previous posts On This Peaceful Day and Torment.  Two poems, one of beauty and one of great courage, just as your writing has always been in the time I’ve known you.

I can see that you’re going through a harrowing ordeal and I can only admire how you’re facing up to it with such strength and being brave enough to write about it. I’m really grateful that you can share your thoughts as I have no idea what would be going through my head if I were to find myself in a similar situation.

I hope your medication brings you some relief and that the chemotherapy, when it starts, causes only the minimum of discomfort. I hope also that you’ll have some help from a Macmillan nurse. Through my work in the past I’ve known a fair few of them, together with the people they have cared for, and they have always been absolute angels.  Stay strong, and write when you’re feeling up to it. I’m very concerned for you and interested to hear about your progress, as I’m sure I’m sure everyone within ABCtales is.

My fingers are well and truly crossed for 1 July but in the meantime I hope you and your partner can enjoy some peaceful and happy time together.  

Good on you dear Jenny.

Turlough

Submitted by Penny4athought on

 Dear Jenny- you are a strong and beautiful soul and I wish you to feel the sunshine, breathe the fragrance of flowers, enjoy each sunrise and sunset and not let the list of treatments or side-effects diminish one second of a day for you. I know there will be difficult days ahead and my heart wishes it wasn't so and I pray the treatments will be beneficial and have none of those ill effects.    heart

Penny4athought

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thank You so much for writing again Jenny. If a person isn't scared they're not brave - they're unsensitive. Through your being such a gifted author, we know you are strong like reeds, which seem fragile but do not break even in tempests. I wish all our hopes and thinking of about you can be around you always, like armour in this Battle. Really wishing with all my heart that you have a good sleep tonight, and the weather is cooler

Lots and Lots of Love XXX